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Song Parodies -> "Doctor My *ss"

Original Song Title:

"Doctor My Eyes"

Original Performer:

Jackson Browne

Parody Song Title:

"Doctor My *ss"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Thought you were gonna have Rectal Exam Week without me, eh? I don't THINK so...
Doctor my *ss is really sore
Though it was feelin' fine before
I came to see you
Then you put on that one glove

Lookin' just like the King of Pop
Said it was time to bend and drop
So you could give my
Little Neverland a shove

Doctor my *SS
Ain't your Disneyland
It'd be a GAS
If you would please remove your hand

Doctor when I pulled down my pants
It was just like Deliver-ance
Is it just me now
Or did I hear a banjo?

It didn't hurt too much until
I took a gander at the bill
And plus I wonder
Just where did your wristwatch go?

Doctor my *SS
Man it really hurts
Hey not so FAST
At least buy me dinner first

Doctor my *ss has felt your thumb
As it probes around my bum
And I've been waiting
To awaken from this ream

And I have done all that I can
To try to take it like a man
But I've a feeling
There's a bullseye on my jeans

Doctor my *SS
Ain't got buried gold
Is there a CLASS
In how to make your hands so cold?

Doctor my *SS
Seemed okay to me
I think I'll PASS
On that colonoscopy

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Some of those docs can be real asinine with their analysis. Better you than me. What can I say? Painfully funny.
Johnny D - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Man, proctologists have really become the butt of a lot of parody-humor around here these days. Great job, Claude, sphincterrific.
Rice Cube - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Diva - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Now I know why WM hates to go to the doctor. (giggle)
Leah Lockhart - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked this one, Claude, although I don't know the song well enough to follow it very well.
Billy Florio - November 27, 2003 - Report this comment
My little Neverland a shove hahahahaha
Paul Robinson - December 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey Claude, this was some very funny Sh*t! Man, I almost couldn't find my a**terisk on the keyboard.
Guy - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment

Claude - You really pulled this one out of the dark recesses of the amiright archive. And yeah this is still asinine but in a really cool way. Thanks for replaying this old timer. I'd forgotten it and was surprised to see that I had commented on it way back in 2003. And it's good to see you back out here.
Agrimorfee - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Pretty wacky, but the Michael Jackson bit was just a bit too much.
Tim Hall - April 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Makes me want to watch that one Family Guy segment with Peter and the doctor.
Matthias - April 20, 2009 - Report this comment
A classic Claude Prez parody. I remember this one... Loved it Claude, and the references you added in here put it over the top. Now squeal like a pig boy!
Jason - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABD-D) I echo Agri's comment.
Below Average Dave - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
WOAH>. . WOAH. . .the images, my fragile little mind, my fragile little mind,. . .fun one Claude. . .probably a terrible choice of words, but you know what I mean
Stuart McArthur - April 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) hmm, I thought how could I not know a Jackson Browne OS? and I youtubed it and of course I know it - glad I did though because it heightened my appreciation of this gem no end - most stanzas were brilliant, but I particularly liked "It didn't hurt too much until - I took a gander at the bill - And plus I wonder - Just where did your wristwatch go?" and also the whole thing reads better without listening to the OS (ie. it has its own intuitive rhythm) which is my rule 4 of parody appreciation - classic Claude pacing and humour here, and a great idea to start with - big 555
bobpiecheese - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC4) This reminds of a Robin Williams stand-up bit where he talks about this - he advises to never moan the name of another doctor "Who's Doctor Smith?" "YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE!" Ahem. Brilliant parody, Claude. 555 for you!
Red Ant - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Looks like "D" parodies are strong for everyone. I (g)loved the MJ verse, and the whole thing really. And now I can scratch this title from my 'I'll-never-get-to-it-anyway' song list (I'm guessing the title came from a misheard lyric).
Jeff Reuben - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Mooooon River! Another great one from you, glad I got to catch up on it!
Melanie Lee - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yeow! Give me another, sir! Now I think you had some extra words in a line or two. Now did your third verse go over the instrumental? If so, you should let us know. I was wavering between 4 and 5 for pacing, but, what the heck, 5-5-5!

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