Doctor, my hand seems to be broke
And my team is just a joke, I'm not lying
And no one can understand

I have done all that I could
To stay in as long as I could, but we're dying
You must bench me if you can

Doctor, my hand
Tell me what is wrong
Now I get slammed
For staying in there for so long

'Cause I have wandered through each play
And we keep losing every day
I've been waiting to be good so long, it seems

Passes go just where there will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That I cannot grip the seams

Doctor, my hand
Tell me what you see
I hear the fans
They say that it's too late for me

Doctor, my hand
Now I'm on the bench
Jamie's the man
Because I caused such a big stench