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Song Parodies -> "Zombie Cockroach"

Original Song Title:

"Boney Fingers"

Original Performer:

Hoyt Axton

Parody Song Title:

"Zombie Cockroach"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson

The Lyrics

The emerald cockroach wasp, or jewel wasp, Ampulex compressa is a fascinating creature, recently investigated with respect to its unusual reproductive behavior. Incredible details of the strange, even nightmarish habits of this predatory insect are shown by a number of videos on You-tube.
I’m an emerald-wasp Mom, and I’m doin’ my duty
Looking for daycare, and I’ve found me a doozy
Larvae can snarf, then get their beauty-sleep as pupae
They need a peaceful place where they’ll get protein while they’re growing,
Need a quiet place where they’ll get protein.

Know where to hunt to find “la cucaracha”
Filled my stinger with a toxin called GABA
Direct first sting to prothoracic ganglia
Likely that his limbs are weakened for two minutes.
Likely that'll make his big arms weaker.

Inject toxins in his chest - whadda ya get?
(Weak limbs!) Woossie cockroach – woossie cockroach.

Oh! the second sting goes to the base of his brain:
Hit the right target and he's feeling no pain;
Lead him like a leash-dog, then one egg I’ll be layin’
Stuff them in a tunnel, the egg hatches in the mornin'
That is when the larva starts to eat him.

Inject toxins in his brain - whadda ya get?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach – zombie cockroach.

For baby wasps, it’s a huge refrigerator
Inside and out, treats that Mother Nature catered
Five days of eating, then protected place for sleeping
In two weeks full-sized adult emerges ripe for breeding
Dressed to kill and carry on life-cycle.

Inject toxins in his brain - whadda ya get?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach – zombie cockroach.

Wasps' lives are scripted, and they don’t need coaches.
Each gal makes toast of several dozen roaches
Mating takes a minute, they won’t need no urgin’
Every mom will be a horror-movie neurosurgeon
Every gal will be a neurosurgeon.

Inject toxins in his brain - whadda ya get?
(Whoo whoo!) Zombie cockroach – zombie cockroach.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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GC'sG - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Although Hallowe'en provided inspiration for this parody, now that the festival's over here's an extra verse with some more general implications.................. /Now there are...../Other examples of bizarre behavior/ The parasite controls and makes the host enslav-ier/ Maybe further research will have human implications/Maybe we'll make mental illness better./ xxxxxxxxxx /Best test model that we've got?/ (Whoo whoo) Zombie cockroach!/Zombie cockroach!/
Peter Andersson - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
The "horror-movie neurosurgeon" made me unsure - is this in reality a political parody? ;-)
Al Silver - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Nature in the raw is delightfully disgusting, made even more enjoyable by your jaunty presentation. I didn't know the OS, but I read your lyrics while listening to a YouTube version. Lots of syllables, but it looks like you paced it perfectly. 5s. Instead of "huge refrigerator," would "jumbo incubator" be more accurate? I'm all for further research, but Big Pharma may produce yet another expensive pill to make zombies out of the mentally ill.
Giorgio Coniglio - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
@Al; Thanks for your efforts to digest the details of this info-parody. Yes; "jumbo incubator" would also work, but at that point in the lyrics, I was trying to emphasize the availability of the enslaved cockroach for "snacks". I don't think the temperature matters too much, as these are not warm-blooded creatures, and this all takes place in warmer climes anyway. If there is any connection to mammalian systems (check out "toxoplasmosis"), there might be insights into unexpected disease mechanisms. Wouldn't a course of some sort of antibiotics be preferable for many diseases compared to chronic symptom-control medication?. @Peter. I am not a political animal; political condidates for all I know could be neurosurgeons, zombies or cockroaches.
Al Silver - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Perhaps then, humorously, "Five days of noshing..."
Rob Arndt - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Interesting, but common knowledge to me. 555. As for cockroaches, the German type are the strongest in the world with adaptivity to absorb almost all pest control toxins, resistant to sugary bait, and can survive 50,000 rads of radiation! Btw readers, Velvet Ants aren't ants but wingless wasps that can kill cows! FYI! And then there's this weird thing: http://listverse.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/5587004-lg.jpg
Reader - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
If Rob Arndt is engaging in self-parody, I say "Nicely done." If he's serious, let the research into new cures begin!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
@RA: On Wiki, it is pointed out that the "German roach" is known in Germany as the Russian roach. In any case, this pervasive beast probably originated in Ethiopia and is now found world-wide. Not sure where your comments about velvet ant/wasps and mantises are directed. Maybe we should ask Dr Jeff Moran to entertain us with info- parodies about the unusual inhabitants of the insect world.
Rob Arndt - November 02, 2015 - Report this comment
You mean like this info-parody on the Jewel Wasp, DGC(Dec)???

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