I am tourist, hear me whine,
As in strange restaurants I dine
And I don't know how to find my way around
The guides try to share the cultures
And the ancient artist's sculptures
You'd think this would less hard than Outward Bound

Chorus:
Oh yes I am lost
But it's worse than e'er I thought
Yes, I've paid the cost
But look at all I've bought
Back at home, I wouldn't buy this stuff
I have junk (junk)
I am invisible (invisible)
I am tourist

You can guide but never teach me
"Cause I don't think you can reach me
Don't really want to learn, that would be hard
And I come back even broker
Could not ante up for poker
'Cause of the black hole I call my credit card

(Chorus)

I am tourist watch me go
O'er this globe that I don't know,
As I show the world how ignorant I am,
But with nerve unsympathetic,
And my manners so pathetic,
There is no chance that the natives give a damn

(Final Chorus)