Her check arrived just the other day,
It came to her in an unusual way.
And there were shows to do, and bills to pay.
Sam called and said better sell today.
And he was talking 'fore she knew it, and he said he knew,
He said, "I just sold mine too, Stew.
I promise you I sold mine too".

Now the brat's got a label and it's none too soon,
Poor Martha Stewart and her silver spoon.
She'll be doing hard time "I don't know when,
She'll she a lot of her friends,
You know she'll see a lot of her friends.

His drugs got rejected by the FDA.
He said, "Dump all your stock now and don't delay.
Can you reach all your friends?" he said, "Yes, today,
I got a lot to do." She said, "That's ok."
As she dialed away, but her smile, lemme tell you,
Said, "I'm gonna tell them all, yeah.
You know I'm gonna tell them all."

Now the brat's got a label and it's none too soon,
Poor Martha Stewart and her silver spoon.
She'll be doing hard time "I don't know when,
She'll she a lot of her friends,
You know she'll see a lot of her friends

Well, he called from prison just the other day,
Still wishes he had bribed the FDA,
"Sam, I'm thanking you. But don't call for a while"
He just got mad, and she began to smile,
"It was really neat, Sam, hope your next appeal goes through.
See you later. Not much I can do!"

Now the brat's got a label and it's none too soon,
Poor Martha Stewart and her silver spoon.
She'll be doing hard time "I don't know when,
She'll she a lot of her friends,
You know she'll see a lot of her friends
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.

Martha called him up just the other day.
She said, "Looks like I'm going to join you I got hard time."
He said, "Oh that's too bad, Stew, was such an innocent crime".
You see, my new cell's a palace, and the ideas came from you,
And it's sure nice talking to you, Stew.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And then Stew hung up the phone, her eyes filled with tears,
She'd just got fifteen years, yeah,
She just got fifteen years...

Now the brat's got a number and it's none too soon,
Poor Martha Stewart and her silver spoon.
She'll be doing hard time "I don't know when,
She'll she a lot of her friends,
You know she'll see a lot of her friends