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Song Parodies -> "Whale"

Original Song Title:

"One"

Original Performer:

Hamlisch/Kleban

Parody Song Title:

"Whale"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

As Buddy Holly didn't quite sing, "Moby, baby, I'll have you some day" ...
”Whale”

Whale, you were my profession
Blubber’s how I earned my pay.
Whale, now you’re my obsession,
On my mind night and day.
A hopeless Holly-head, I’m humming “Peggy Sue”
Twenty-four/seven since you made me peggy, too.
Whale, I will have my vengeance --
Take it to the bank that soon
You’ll be snagged on my harpoon.
And then,
Whale
I am gonna get medieval!
Moby, you had best believe I’ll
Make you wail.

I’ve been sailing the seas ‘cause under my knees
One of my pair is a peg-leg of teak -
Mine’s a prosthetic pathetic physique.
And it’s you who’s to blame, you big freak with your
Albino hide, freakishly pale
You’re the devil whale
Swimming.
Can’t stop
Your old brutality loathing.
Thru’ the abyssal deep I will
Hunt to confront you, leviathan demon.
You know I’ll be your doom for I know you must
Surface to breathe and so you can’t evade
My madness forever, your debt will be paid.
Sure, my brain’s un-
Rav’lin’ –
You Macbeth, me Macduff --
Can’t get enough
Payback.
Way back
When you trimmed my limb
I swore “One day I’ll see him
Tined!”

Whale, you were my de-legger
And for that you’ll have to pay
Whale, don’t be a mercy beggar --
Moby, ‘til my dying day
I will captain the Pequod thru’ calm and storm
Until I can impale you pincushion-form
Whale, I shall have reprisal,
Tit-for-tat I’ll take and more
‘til I’ve evened up the score,
Oh, white
Whale,
Or else my name isn’t “Ahab”
-- You can call me a crab --
I don’t care!

© Stan Hall

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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alvin - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
the "peggy, too" line made me erupt through my blow hole
John Barry - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
I've done a few Moby parodies, but this bests them all by far.

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