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Song Parodies -> "Uncle Don's Van"

Original Song Title:

"Uncle John's Band"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Grateful Dead

Parody Song Title:

"Uncle Don's Van"

Parody Written by:

Darrell Wilhelm

The Lyrics

This is an ode to an old, beat-up ugly Chevy van that was owned by my Uncle Don for many years and was last owned by one of my ex-girlfriend Nadia's former neighbors. I wanted to own this van for a very long time, but my mom said "ABSOLUTELY NO VANS!" because if I got into a van or an RV with a girl, all hell would break free. Oh, by the way, Nadia's parents also refused to let her have the same van, presumably for the same reasons.
Well, the first days for that old green van
Were certainly not the easiest
Hauling kids, boats and furniture
Even a 16-foot Aristocrat camp trailer
Years went by, the upholstery decayed
The quarters and the rockers
They rusted through, oh yeah

Just a 1975 Chevy Beauville 3/4-ton van
But all through the years, it ran and ran
She's seen thousands of yard sales and thrifting shops
Will the old beast give up the ghost?
Will it ever give up the ghost?
Now, I wanna know
How much longer the old beast will run

Goshdarn, well, I declare
Those small-block Chevs, they'll run forever
The engine-block walls
Are built like cannonballs
They are as reliable as can be

There goes Uncle Don's van
To another owner
That old van has traveled a helluva long way

It's now owned by a young man
Who hauls inside his racing motorcycles
Still looks the same
Still runs like a top
The rust, there's more and more
And still more as the time goes by
The Southwest-style seat inserts
They got thinner and thinner as time marched on

I've got me a master craftsman's tool set
And I keep all 500-odd
As polished as a tool can be
I've got me 3 different Chevy-GMC van repair books
Whenever that old green beast comes up for sale again
I am prepared for the absolute worst
In neglect and disrepair
If that old beast has a blown engine
I will not tear out my hair

Whoa-oh, what I really want to know is
How does the old beast run?

There goes Uncle Don's van
On the back of a wrecker truck
That old van's day has come
There goes Uncle Don's van
On its way to the scrapyard
There it goes, 3 owners and 32 years later

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.0
How Funny: 1.0
Overall Rating: 1.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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User Comments

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Meriadoc - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
I can't recall the OS well enough to vote the pacing, but I think this is a lovely ode to an old metal friend; sad it saw the end of its days...

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