-> "The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald"
The legend lives on from the slip and bra on down
Of great hooters, the huge kind, "Bazoomy"
One pair, it was said, dwarfed an elephant's head
Just the thought sends big goose pimples thru me
Old timers swear that Miss Fannie tucked there
What a dozen girls might, lumped together
Perked nips would protrude, and spawn looks very lewd
For her pillowy charms, softly feathered
Fan's bulbs were the pride of Joe Luck, at her side
Bodyguard on the burley "Q" circuit
As great headliners go, she was gifted with so
Much to offer, and knew how to work it
Her Pams stalked the stage, like big cats in a lace cage
Proudly cleft, fully loaded from cleave-land
And late every night, from that cage, sprang a sight
That would send any man, wildly reelin'
Soft lingerie dropped with a whispering sound
As Fannie disrobed, ever slowly
Climaxing the show..were her great globes of glow
Their appearance was like something holy
As silk straps slid down, heavy heartbeats would pound
Syncopating with drumbeat and music
The full bosom freed, caused a hush stampede
As tho' staged and rehearsed, quite acoustic..
Physicians stood by, for those "stricken from shock"
To administer strong salts for smellin'
For some wounded worse, they would summon a nurse
Who gave great CPR to the fallen
Outdoors, lined a throng, stretching many blocks long
Snarling traffic, with streets quite imperiled
As wide eyes would wait..for just one glimpse of the great
Famous Rack of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald
Does anyone know where such great tatas go
When Pa Time tosses ladies their hurdle,
As they shrivel and shrink, like spoiled fruit on the sink,
Leaving excess to tuck in a girdle..
Then a charge, so large, it resembles a barge
Can hang like hooked beef gone to slaughter
With one miracle gone, pray the Gods pass it on
In the genes, to a voluptuous daughter..
As the hourglass streams, and the fat lady sings
Fannie's hooters decrease their expansions
The Grand Twins of Esteem, once delighting men's dreams
Peak no more like pink pretty mansions
Faded are days of their glorious displays
And, like vaudeville, remain etched in history
Our First Lady of Breast has passed over the crest
And her whereabouts now, seem a mystery..
Being sort of a buff..of burlesque stars and stuff
I research on the web, old time striptease
And learn, to my dismay, where poor Fannie is today
..Testing wheelbarrows at Home Depot Fact'ries
So, the legend goes on, from the slip and bra on down
Although now, sadly saggin' 'cause they're old
Tales from old men's lips can still bring drooling drips
For The Rack Of Miss Fannie Fitzgerald..
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|How Funny: ||4.9|
|Overall Rating: ||4.9|
|Total Votes: ||10|
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