The legend came down from the Arkansas Hills
It's a fable about hooche cooche
Ellen, they said, gave superior head
Which I found out the night that she "woo'd me"

Including some terms, to fight syphillis germs
She always carried plenty of condoms
Careful, you guys, 'cause the heat from her thighs
Might melt all the lubricant off 'em

She had a nice laugh, legs like a giraffe
And a temper as bad as a rhino
I porked her at dusk, with my elephant tusk
She's the best little nympho that I know

Her breasts were the pride of a good surgeons guide
The nicest I've seen here in Dallas
We laid on our side, and made love till I cried
"you've rubbed all the skin off my phallus!"

The good ship and crew, all had bones to be chewed
Even the cabin boy Herold
And Herold, they say, was a ten second lay
For the likes of Ellen Fitzgerald

The wind in her pubes made a tattletale sound
When the Captain bent her over the railing
He started strummin', and she started cummin'
So hard that the crew started bailing

She was often defiled, the epitomy of wild
Didn't care who it was that caught her
Now all that remains, are the stink and the stains
Of the sailors who pitched in and bought her

Does anyone know, where Ellen goes
And does anyone know where to find her
The sailors all say, she'd have been a great lay
If she had fifteen more pounds behind her

Now this song was done, all in good fun
Though it may make her seem kinda' sloppy
And it's a real good bet, that she'll be upset
When she finds out her friends all have copies

The legend came down, from the Arkansas Hills
It's a fable about hoochee cooche
Superior head, just might bring back the dead
Which I found out the night that she 'woo'd me"