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Song Parodies -> "For My Girlfriend, Ellen Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"For My Girlfriend, Ellen Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:

Paul Wooten

The Lyrics

Written for my girlfriend Ellen in 1990, with many verses modified or deleted here for modesty's sake.Many apologies to Gordon Lightfoot for trashin' one of my all time favorite songs
The legend came down from the Arkansas Hills
It's a fable about hooche cooche
Ellen, they said, gave superior head
Which I found out the night that she "woo'd me"

Including some terms, to fight syphillis germs
She always carried plenty of condoms
Careful, you guys, 'cause the heat from her thighs
Might melt all the lubricant off 'em

She had a nice laugh, legs like a giraffe
And a temper as bad as a rhino
I porked her at dusk, with my elephant tusk
She's the best little nympho that I know

Her breasts were the pride of a good surgeons guide
The nicest I've seen here in Dallas
We laid on our side, and made love till I cried
"you've rubbed all the skin off my phallus!"

The good ship and crew, all had bones to be chewed
Even the cabin boy Herold
And Herold, they say, was a ten second lay
For the likes of Ellen Fitzgerald

The wind in her pubes made a tattletale sound
When the Captain bent her over the railing
He started strummin', and she started cummin'
So hard that the crew started bailing

She was often defiled, the epitomy of wild
Didn't care who it was that caught her
Now all that remains, are the stink and the stains
Of the sailors who pitched in and bought her

Does anyone know, where Ellen goes
And does anyone know where to find her
The sailors all say, she'd have been a great lay
If she had fifteen more pounds behind her

Now this song was done, all in good fun
Though it may make her seem kinda' sloppy
And it's a real good bet, that she'll be upset
When she finds out her friends all have copies

The legend came down, from the Arkansas Hills
It's a fable about hoochee cooche
Superior head, just might bring back the dead
Which I found out the night that she 'woo'd me"

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   16
 17
 16
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This is headin' for a hit. Haha.

Great line: "Superior head, just might bring back the dead"
mac - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
HA HA HA HA HA!
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, YES!! You made it past the censor with style, dude, with style! Great job here. I agree with Guy - this has "hit" dribbling down its phallus and thighs.

And if you like this sex-marinated parody of "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald", you might also like the first parody I ever posted on Amiright:

"The Erection Of Edmund Fitzgerald", located here:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/gordonlightfoot13.shtml
Royce Miller - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Every time I read a parody of this song, I'm amazed with the stuff people can come up with....
Birgitta - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
:-D Paul,Paul,Paul..almost sprayed my monitor with orange juice. You need to start warning people to sit down before reading your parodies!! LOL-Just too frikkin' funny- :-D
Paul W. - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Many thanks to everyone kind enough to read this. Johnny D, I'm headin' on over now to check out your take on this. I'll get back to you.
Rick D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This sort of delicious revenge reminds me of the "Priceless" pictures on the net, where angry ex's post naughty private pictures of their former lovers. I know my ex has provided me with endless inspiration,
Claude Prez - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
There must be something about this song; I don't think I've seen a parody of it yet that wasn't Very Good.
Phil Alexander - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
One of these days I'm going to have to find a copy of the original... all I can do is measure this one for pacing against Spaff's "Wreck of Ben Afflick and J-Lo" (which is a very high standard to measure against). This ones MUCH dirtier (in a way, I'm surprised it got through the filter), and has more belly-laughs in (well, more just-below-the-belly laughs, anyway).
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Birgitta, I know what you mean about Paul W's parodies - they're Weapons of Mass Guffawction that attack your funny-bone without warning! Just yesterday, Paul's parody "OPERATOR(Help me make this call)" caught me by surprise and forced me to laugh at my desk at work - so I know what you mean, believe me!
Birg - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny,he's a monster.I met Paul at our "headquarters",Garageband-(musicians/singers/songwriters)-only 10 days or so ago? Maybe a few more,I don't know.We spent days & nights swapping parodies in our private messages-then came here around the same time.This is our new headquarters.LOL.
Ethan Mawyer - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, if you want to find the original lyrics to this song or any other hit song (and even some that weren't billboard hits) go to www.top40db.net that's where i found the lyrics to write my "edmud fitzgerald" parody and a lot of others.
Paul W. - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, your take on this was a MONSTER!!!!! LMMFAO!!!!!!! I'm going to have to resist the temptation to just sit in the archives all day going over all the brilliant stuff in here... I could read until I starve to death.
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Paul W ! Please, feel free to vote on it, too!
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul W - If you tried to vote on my Edmund Fitzgerald parody, your vote didn't register, and it might be because you have your browser set to not accept cookies...Chucky's voting software requires the voter's browser to be set to accept cookies.
Paul W. - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, I think it took that time.:)
Michael Pacholek - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
No. Quite disgusting, and unlike some of the WEF parodies, not nearly funny enough to make up for it. Whoever Edmund was, he's turning over in his grave. And how did this get past Chucky's blue pencil?
Edmond Fitzgerald(from the lake bottom) - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Being a ship, and not a person, I can't really comment on this, Mr.P.
John Jenkins - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I, too, wonder how this parody got approved, but I am glad that it did and I got to read the humorous lines.
Paul, am I correct in assuming that Ellen is no longer your girlfriend?
The Captain Who Wired In He Had ***** Comin' In - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ellen, they said, gave superior head
Like the Great Lake who swallowed those Sea Men
Paul Wooten - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
John, actually, just to set the record straight on this , Ellen is a beautiful, brilliant redhead from Arkansas who, along with her brother Dwight, both worked for me when I was managing a bar in Dallas. (1989-1991). She loved my parodies and demanded that I write one for her. So we got a jug of wine and wrote this together one night. She actually helped with several lines, and when I recorded it for her she would drag her friends out of the bar and play the cassette for them in the car. She has since moved back home to Arkansas, but we remain great friends to this day.:)
Phil Alexander - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul - I suppose it would count as good advertising :-)
Ethan - I've got the lyrics, it's the song I haven't got round to finding a copy of
Paul W. - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil-With her looks, she didn't need to advertise, believe me! She just loved to laugh, and shared a great love of the original with me. In reality, she is the exact opposite of what this song portrays, which is why she found it so funny, and why she had so much fun playing it for her friends:-)
Ellen Fitzgerald - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Line forms at the rear, boys.....:-)
Diva - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny and creative!
Jack Wilson - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY, all 5's! BTW if ya liked this one, check out http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/gordonlightfoot14/shtml , if you havent checked it out, chec it out its hilarious
Patty B - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I love to start the day with a laugh - got several here! Thanks! Lets have some more........
Johnny Parton - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the NUTS!! Funniest thing I have ever heard.I laughed until I PUKED.
Laurence Dunne - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
There is just something about this song that makes it so parody-inspiring...
Paul W. - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Diva, Jack, Johnny, Patty and Lawrence, I thank you for your time, and hope you enjoyed reading it as much as Ellen and I enjoyed writing it, with the in-depth research required:-)
Rose - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
LMFAO!!! Hysterically funny! all 5's
alvin - June 15, 2007 - Report this comment
5s, three years later....great stuff...especially the "wind in her pupes' bit

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