-> "The Buttocks Of Emma Fitzgerald"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Buttocks Of Emma Fitzgerald"
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big butt that plugged up lake erie
Now Emma, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the meal in her stomach turn gloomy.
With a load of orios - 26,000 pounds more
Than the large butted lady weighed empty
The flatus and poo would have overwhelmed you
When the gales of her intestines blew early
Her butt was the pride of the American side
As she got on a cruise on lake erie
As the big cruisers go it was bigger than most
With a crew and the Captain well seasoned.
She concluded a meal with a big plate of veal
After prunes and some baked beans and cabbage
She followed it down with three coffes and cream
Then she pulled out some scotch from her baggage
Well after round three she was feeling quite free
and she walked on the deck late that evening
And later that night when the ships bell rang
Twas her rancid North Wind they'd been feeling.
Her wind in the wires made a tattletale sound
And the stench it became stomach-churning
She leaned over the rail, and the captain went pale
Cause now the 'witch of November' was hurling
The word it came late, supper would have to wait
Cause the staff in the kitchen were gassed out
And in the first class, downwind from from her gas
Lot's of hoitety-toit folk had just passed out
Then the cook he said "Woh, look out she's gonna blow"
and the passengers all ran for cover
And out of her hide came a massive mudslide
Cook said "fellas it's been good to know ya!"
Her intestines had blew and all her stomach acid flew
and it ripped through the ships hull in no time
She capsized by the hull and they all felt the pull,
as it dragged them all down like a rip-tide
The Captain wired in he had poop coming in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
The headquarter staff thought the message was daft
So they answered "we'll see you in hell then"
Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the words turn the minutes to hours
The witnesses say they'd have never made Bay
Had her butt cheeks not been like two towers
When the ship had gone down many people had drowned
Twenty nine survived by treading water
Well Emma did sink but she tried hard to think
Then Eureka the answer came to her
She lets out a scream and she blows off more steam
so her flatulence starts to propel her
When the surface she reached she said "sit on my cheek"
and the twenty-nine gladly did board her
Her butt stayed afloat even with all the weight
of those folk and she swam for the coastline
But with the shore just in sight emma's breath was not right
And she knew she was not gonna last long
She sank one more time, this time she didn't survive
But the others the coast guard did rescue
And far down below Lake Erie you know
Lie the biggest butt cheeks in all history
In a musty old hall in Chicago they prayed
In the Sailors' church down by the boat dock
The church bell chimed, it rang 29 times
For each saved by the old lady's buttock
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|How Funny: ||3.3|
|Overall Rating: ||3.3|
|Total Votes: ||7|
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