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Song Parodies -> "Eve of Destruction"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Eve of Destruction"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

A couple weeks ago I wrote an account of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald to the tune of "Eve of Destruction". This sort of transformation has become a specialty of mine. Then someone said I ought to try this in the other direction. If I held to my usual pattern I might have called this "If Gordon Lightfoot Wrote 'Eve of Destruction'".
The story is told in Testaments, New and Old
Of the river referred to as "Jordan"
The river divides two implacable sides
Of a land all too frequently warred on
While these conflicts you'd shun, you have been issued a gun
With the orders to kill or to be killed
A pawn in a game, are you really to blame
When your voice in the matter has been stilled?

The missiles still fly while the innocents die
From a hate that transcends generations
"Here our ancestors trod, we were promised by God"
But can this be the real explanation?
Invoking His Name, they keep flinging iron and flame
While ignoring His message redemptive
Will our whole world to extinction be hurled
In the wake of an air strike preemptive?

Are there any words I can use to convince
You our hopes for peace are all failing?
Why can you not hear why I'm so filled with fear
Of the demons of midnight assailing?
No one will be saved, tell me who'll dig the graves
When some madman starts pushing the button?
And yet you deny, though I can't fathom why
That we're poised on the Eve of Destruction

Looking closer to home, beneath the Capitol dome
The red and blue are in deadlock
As the deadline looms they keep moving farther apart
Trapped in a permanent gridlock
The Speaker contends that he is not giving in
Though the country and jobs are in peril
Then later that night when the public's out of sight
The debate turns increasingly feral

They sling their mud and it angers my blood
Impervious to compromising
The pundits all say that it's we who will pay
For this cliff of their willful devising
Our nation divides into separate tribes
By race and by color and gender
And nothing abides of those ideals that unite
When the truth and respect we surrender

Damascus burns, the Cairo mob turns
Blood flows deep down the Tigris-Euphrates
Persians still pose, so the party line goes
The threat of a nuclear Hades
To flee the disgrace you travel to space
The problems remain when you've landed
And the Marxist Chinese could bring us all to our knees
Will they turn us away empty handed?

On a Thanksgiving Day we all gather to pray
Asking "God bless the fruits of our labor"
The church bell chimes for all the victims of crimes
As we still go on hating our neighbor
The evidence mounts in oft-repeated accounts
That the world remains mired in corruption
Midst the pain and the grief, I can't shake your belief
That we're not on the Eve of Destruction

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Susanna Viljanen - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Neat work. Fives.
John Barry - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Great write! One of your best, IMO.
Callmelennie - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
What JAB said!! You've all inspired me to finish my own Edmund ... and while it won't be the greatest Edmund parody ever, it might have the greatest Edmund parody TITLE ever! Stay tuned
Dave W. - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Gordon Lightfoot's song has met it's equal.....would love to hear him sing it.....Sir, I raise my pen - To your perceive of destuction ,may it go down in the channels of impeccable parody history and be a lesson to us all..clic,click....clck,click
Dave W. - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Uh oh ....Destuction....the r came loose and jumped ship, hope it will live to rite another day....
Lifeliver - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Outstanding navigation through a minefield of a topic. If only some of the protagonists could step back and take a rational look at the issues that plague that blighted land the way you have. I endorse all other comments so far. 555.
Michael Pacholek - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
And I five you, over and over and over again, my friend.
Patrick - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Some of the best comments I have ever received. I was always intimidated by TWOTEF due to its length. But someone gave me a challenge and it actually only took about two days to get the bulk of it written. The real challenge is trying to find a way to stretch the lines and concepts and find more circuitous ways to say things to fit the target song which is about half again as long as the starting point. Unfortunately, there are a lot more examples around of what Barry McGuire sang about in 1965. Fortunately, we are still here to compare. Thanks to all who read through this lengthy piece and voted and commented. That's what makes writing these parodies worthwhile.
Meriadoc - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
I liked how you worked the current Cliff of Destruction in with the 1960's Eve...
Someone - December 09, 2012 - Report this comment
As Mr. Rodgers used to say, "I knew you could." :D

Brilliant. Just brilliant. All of it, but esp. liked the rhymes of peril/feral and Euphrates/Hades. (No North Korea? -- j/k.) You've elevated yourself to a new level here. 555+++

Is it now possible that others could follow Patrick's following of Someone's lead, stop doing short, lazy half-smooshes of TOS, and start doing all smooshes in both directions on each song? Then the site might start climbing back to where it was a few years ago. Here's hoping.

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