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Song Parodies -> "The Neck Of My Pet Rooster Harold"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Neck Of My Pet Rooster Harold"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

He came from an egg, and had spurs upon his leg,
Liked to brush him and keep him real groomy
Nice comb, peaked and red, like a crown on his head,
My pet rooster sure meant a lot to me

Speckled rings on his neck, multi-colored, brown fleck
Harold was built like the fighter, Jack Dempsey
Tail feathers arched free, formed a big letter, "C"
He'd peck kernels of corn till cob's empty

Pumped up with pride, just like he owned the outside
A good friend that so much I could count on
Ev'ry morning he'd crow an alarm clock, "Hello"
From the fence in the backyard he'd mount on

I'd share, when woke up, sips of coffee from my cup
On our farm past the suburbs of Cleveland
Fresh donuts, I'd chew, my pet rooster would, too
He was picky and pecky at stealin'

When I'd plow fields to produce the corn yields,
With me, on the rig he'd be ridin'
Before day was done, Harold would stray, seekin' fun
With some love-friendly hens he'd be stridin'

Broke mono law like a Mormon from Utah
Few females could resist the cock's passion
If chickens could smile, his hens would a while
Even once jumped a duck, kept her splashin'

When milkin' time came and the cows were in stalls
He would strut through the barn like a soldier
Loved milk for dessert, so, I'd shoot him a squirt,
Other times, he'd just perch on my shoulder

At theCounty Fair time, entered my pet, in his prime
View the judgin' with lady friend, Cheryl
A cool mannered stance, other cocks had no chance
Later took home a blue ribboned, Harold

Nobody could know my deep love for this bird
I would tease him and spoil him for hours
He'd crow as we'd play, cockadoodled away
If soiled from the yard, gave him showers

It could have been fate, such a terrible thing,
That happened the following Sunday
Great day, as days went, till a tragic event,
Made me hope for it's hurry to Monday

It was dinnertime, superior eats
Mom's magnificent feast set for luncheon
Eyes had never seen such a table dream
All anxious, through grace, for the munchin'

"Darned good chicken, Mom.." I said, "Where's it from?"
And the back of my mind double barreled
When she said from the yard, felt my throat swallow hard,
And a scream in my head said, "It's Harold!!!"

It seems that my Mom had sent out cousin Tom,
Who was visitin' here from Kentucky,
In the yard to select a good bird, tall, erect..
Skip the rest, just say Harold wasn't lucky

His crowin' is gone from our Cleveland farm, at dawn
And the days on my tractor are gloomy
Other roosters are still fed, but poor Harold is dead,
And a cannibal feeling runs through me..

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 2
 2
 
 5   20
 18
 18
 

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Tastes like chicken.....and fives...
John Barry - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Great title, great story. I could see the ending coming.
AFW - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to Mark, and John...yes, difficult not to telegraph the finish in a tale like this
Michael Pacholek - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I guess I better do my duty and comment on a "Wreck" parody. AFW, you rule the roost. Anybody who doesn't give this a five is a dumb cluck.
Patrick - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I just had a plate full of chicken nuggets before turning on the computer. I think his name was "Swanson". Funny, funny song.
Old Man Ribber - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Worthy! Not a wreck at all! ;D
Ann Hammond - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
LilHenCakes - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir L'AIR de Farce, ~The Mighty Duke oEdge~ this is quite fine a write . . . though I do hope it is NOT autobiographical, Sir !
Christie Marie M - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
A very touching parody of Harold the Rooster...though a tragic one in the end (T T) :( (sniffles)...especially on how poor Harold was eaten! I may have to abstain from chicken for awhile after reading this parody. BTW, I'm doing my own parody of Edmund Fitzgerald and should be submitted sometime next month. You did a very good job on this parody. Crowing 555's with this one! Cock-a-doodle doo!!!
Former POTUS Calvin Coolidge - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I was visiting a chicken farm with the Mrs. once. My wife noticed that there were far more hens than roosters, and asked how many hens one rooster could service in a day.

"Oh, about twelve", said the guide.

My wife said, "Would you kindly tell that to Mr. Coolidge?" ... Which he did.

I asked the guide, "Does he do the same hen every time, or a different one?"

The guide said, "It's a different hen every time."

I said, "Would you please tell that to Mrs. Coolidge?"


Wildly imaginative spin on much-done OS, and very well, uh, (cough) "executed". ;-) (TT)
AFW - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to Michael, the resident TWOTEF expert...and Patrick, Swanson, eh...ya' know they come out with the original frozen tv dinner, way back...and back then they were really good, almost like a home cooked meal, but time, and down sizing quality makes them all crapola, to me....and thanks, OMR, Ann, Lil Cakes,...no, purely fictional...and thanks, Christie..sorry, if you're gonna' be chicken-less for a while...and thanks, Mr. TT Coolidge..funny tale, there..
Fiddlegirl - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, the tears I have spent on this barnyard lament
and the fate of poor Harold, the rooster
How he'll never more play or announce the bright day
Perched atop the old fence, like he used ter....

555 boxes of Puffs, which I think I'll have to share with CMM
AFW - September 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice stanza, here..Fg...thanks for vc
Michael Pacholek - September 19, 2010 - Report this comment
I find it hard to believe that Calvin Coolidge would have said that. Warren Harding, maybe.
Tommy Turtle @ Michael Pacholek - September 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Wrong again, Michael.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

Well-known phenomenon in mammalian 6uality. Sorry.
John Jenkins - September 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Very well told story. Cousin Tom appears to be a real turkey!
AFW - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to Michael, and John J

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