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Song Parodies -> "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the manhood that was Hiawatha's.
But even that dong doesn't seem very long,
When compared to a longshoreman's whopper.

Their cocks are so large that they need a garage,
And are six feet when they are quite flaccid.
When stiffened they stand over twenty feet, and,
Are so tough, that they wash them with acid.

Edmund's dong was the pride of the American side
From Detroit all the way to Wisconsin.
As the longshoremen's go, his was bigger than most;
He astonished them all with his Johnson.

One night the north wind came a-hard-blowin' in,
Raising waves up like giant foam fountains.
The ships at the dock, they all started to rock,
As the storm raised up swells big as mountains.

Longshoremen worked hard to unload every barge,
Before each ship was beaten to rubble.
But the storm grew too strong, and before very long,
One boat was in serious trouble.

The "Trojan" had come from the port of Hong Kong,
With six hundred containers of condoms.
Now at the end of her sail, it appeared she would fail,
And be sent by the storm to the bottom.

The Trojan's crew ran for her gangplank and tried
To escape the ship as it was wrecking.
But a giant wave washed Trojan's gangplank away,
And the crewmen were left on her decking.

The Captain wired in he had water comin' in
And the good ship and crew were in peril.
But before very long, when hope seemed to be gone,
Came the erection of Edmund Fitzgerald.

Edmund unzipped his fly, and he gave a great cry,
"Fellas, here comes yer new gangplank!"
He whipped out his cock right there on the dock,
And proceeded to give it a good yank.

The longshoremen saw, and they all watched with awe,
Edmund's meatpole stretch over the ocean.
When it reached Trojan's deck her crew climbed on that pecker,
And ran down its length off the Trojan.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big dick they call "Gitchi Goomee"
But even that rod doesn't seem very odd,
When compared to Fitzgerald's salami.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 3
 3
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   11
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
A great parody of a great song
Claude Prez - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Impressive.
Tim Hall - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Ron Jeremy would be proud!
Billy Florio - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice job
Jay W - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice job. Very funny, warped imagination. (I wonder what Freud would say about you.)
Adagio - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
You have imagination!
Wild Man - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice work Tim, did they move whatfreaks over here while we were'nt looking?
Peregrin - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
I am still laughing - apparently the one guy can't get erections...! Great job !
Michael Pacholek - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Anyone trying to get on top of this one will have still competition. And that assessment is not a premature evaluation. And Pip, you are so right! (Never mind how Pip came by this expertise, Malcolm!)
Michael Pacholek - September 09, 2003 - Report this comment
That should have read "stiff competition." I wanted the word "stiff" up there on the board, but I guess I couldn't get it up.
The pale ghost of John Holmes - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
A prolonged landmark in the history of male self confidence. Not a single downtime second throughout. 555 inches up from me!
Spaff.com - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm a sucker for Edmund Fitzgerald parodies. (No pun intended.) You nailed this one. (Pun intended.)
Bubba - September 10, 2003 - Report this comment
This is one of the funniest I have ever seen! Great job. All 5's.
Royce Miller - September 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Johnny D: I hope in time you will see more votes for your parody--if this is the only parody you ever write, and I hope it's not, you could be proud that it's just plain great.
Johnny D - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody! It was a lot of fun to write.
Rick D - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Okay, I take back what I said on the "Michael" song. They can be gross and haha funny. You "pulled it off" well.
Johnny D - November 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick - just doing my best to hone my parody-writing tool(s).
Rick D - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Johnny- you keep talking about "honing your craft". Any more honing it's gonna be a canoe! ( I'm trying to think of a place I can get away with performing this.)
Johnny D - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick - If you perform this parody somewhere, then I want a tape of your performance - VHS is best, but at least an audio cassette! When you perform it, please be sure to give a plug for Amiright, too, so more folks can visit this site and get in on the fun. Thanks!
Rick D - November 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Well sure. But I don't play a lot of rowdy dives. I am going to try do do one parody a week that's not mine from this site at my local open mike hangout. And I'll let whoever know how it went over. When I get this MP3 thing figured out and start posting recordings, I may just include doing the spoofs of people like you that are non- musicians. This may be some ways away, as I have other projects, and for some reason, I've been writing a lot of weird silly stuff lately.
Mari D - November 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Why do I keep thinking about "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore"? Actually, we do plug Amiright at the open mics. I usually sing lead, but even though your parody is "ship shape," Rick can sing this one since it's so manly!
spirit of the fox - November 12, 2003 - Report this comment
i can't stop laughing... i don't think that one can be topped (especially if it's as big as it says) i want so badly to have a recording of it... if you guys ever record this dong... er song, please please put it on the site... i'm on my knees... begging that is! lol. thanks
Rick D - November 12, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm considering doing this one, along with a few others. Still working on MP3 site. Let you know.
ChuckyG - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
yeash, put a URL in your comment, don't post an entire page worth of stuff...
Johnny D - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Sorry about that, Chucky - got carried away with the "sea chanty" spirit of the moment.

Mari D - Here is Martin Mull's "Men Men Men" Sea-Chanty - your "so manly" comment reminded me of it!

http://pesenki.by.ru/internat/miscdementia/songs/370.shtml

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/madisonscoutsgrp/message/1018?source=1

http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache:V9_pc_0DwJ0J:www.everything2.com/index.pl%3Fnode%3DMen+Malarkey+Columbus+Eaten+In+Days+And+One+Guy+We+Call+Sally&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
Johnny D - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Mari D - and anybody else who might be interested - the third URL that I listed in my previous comment is the best rendition of Martin Mull's "Men Men Men" Sea-Chanty ....... I recommend that third URL over the first two.
Johnny D - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
And thank you, spirit of the fox - I'm very happy you got a good laugh from our well-endowed longshoreman Edmund !
Leah Lockhart - November 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Very impressive... this song takes a lot of patience, I imagine. I especially like the Wisconsin-Johnson rhyme.
Johnny D - November 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Leah!
Paul W. - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Just incredibly funny, J.D. LMMFAO!!!!!!! Keep 'em cummin' 555INCHES!!
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul W - I think your EF parody is hilarious, too!
mac - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Very solid for such a long one, and enormously funny.
Johnny D - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, mac!
mac - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Well Johnny, your song is now oficially banned on the board I frequent. :) Check it out.... http://mb9.theinsiders.com/ffanhomefrm10.showMessageRange?topicID=8340.to­pic&start=61&stop=76
Johnny D - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
mac - that website says topic 8340 might have been recently deleted. Can you help me locate it?
mac - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
The whole thread was deleted, Johnny. I blame Janet's boob. :(
Meriadoc - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Can't believe I never commented on this one - I know I read it... a gargantuam effort Johnny! ;-)
Johnny D - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Gargantuan is what this parody is all about, Meriadoc - thank you!
Spaff.com - May 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I voted and commented last September, but I still love this one. Plus, this inspired me to get off my butt and write the WotEF parody I'd been kicking around. And, hey, Johnny Dangle - wasn't this your very first amiright submission?
Phil Alexander - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I could have sworn I left a comment to this one before... there seem to be quite a few of these recently, maybe I'm forgetting to hit the "Submit Comments" button. Ah well, I think it went something like this:
A legend lives on of a song that's so long
It'll take you all morning to read it
But this one was not as long as it's hot
(Is that right, or should I feel like an eedjit?)
You must have thought long and hard about this one, JD..
Paul Robinson - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - As many Lightfoot songs as I know I can't remember how this one goes. And so many folks have done parodies of it. Guess I'll have to find a collection album that has this one on it.
Johnny D - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, folks.

Mighty Spaff - I'm honored to have inspired your classic parody "The Wreck of Ben Affleck and J. Lo" ! Yes, this was my first one on Amiright.

Phil - Thanks for the mini-parody, but.....what's an "eedjit" ?

Paul - I posted links to MIDI samples, an Amazon sample, and the original lyrics, on the ABCs Round E voting thread:

http://inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,1084.0
Phil Alexander - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
"eedjit" - n. Vernacular "idiot"
Adagio - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Already voted...even more funny!
Agrimorfee - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) 555 buried deep in the vaults (ahem), it came right out of the box (ahem)...damn, i will just be quiet now...;)
Johnny D - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Adagio and Agrimorfee. And thanks for the definition, Philbo.
Paul Robinson - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - thanks, I'll check out the samples and original lyrics a bit later tonight or in the morning.
Rick D - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Re-reading the comments makes me realize what a long strange trip it's been, and it hasn't even been a year yet. Something I found out about performing some of these is that they sometimes work better on the printed page. Most contributors here never have to play or sing them. That's why I'm taking requests for recordings, but only working on ones I think I can do justice to. Johnny, w've been down an interesting path together already.
Johnny D - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul - OK, thanks for coming by.

Rick D - Yes, indeed we have. Did you ever perform "The Erection of Edmund Fitzgerald" ?
Paul Robinson - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Well, I have to say this parody casts a large, phallic shadow over landscape. Sounds like old Edmund would need an entire ship's crew to stretch a Trojan over his main man-sail. 5's are not a stretch here. Thanks for the links. That looks like a good lyric site, too.
Johnny D - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Paul . . . I like that lyric site - it offers choruses and incidental lyrics that others sometimes don't.
Claude Prez - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Still mighty impressive. Plus I got to vote again; not sure why.
Jeff Reuben - May 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent...but who is Edmund Fitzgerald?
Johnny D - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks again, Claude!

Thank you, Jeff. Edmund Fitzgerald is the name of a freighter that sank in a storm on Lake Superior on November 10, 1975. The ship was immortalized in a famous folk ballad, "The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald", by Gordon Lightfoot. Here is a link to the story of the Edmund Fitzgerald:

http://www.boatnerd.com/fitz/
martha - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
If you ever perform this in a low sleazy dive Rick .. do let us know so we can all come..
Johnny D - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks martha......I second the motion!
Michael Pacholek - July 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know if this comment will reach anyone in time, but today, Monday, July 5, 2004, the History Channel will be broadcasting "The Death of the Edmund Fitzgerald" on their program "Deep Sea Detectives" at 8 AM and 2 PM Eastern Time. It's certainly not funny, though it will be great to see the truth behind the November 10, 1975 sinking that produced the Gordon Lightfoot ballad, not to mention so many really good parodies. As inspirers go, that song brought more than most.
Michael Pacholek - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
The documentary was pretty good -- especially since it told who Edmund Fitzgerald was, the head of Northwestern Mutual Life, which helped fund the building of the ship -- but it didn't mention the song. Which, I suppose, is like watching a Yankees-Red Sox game and not reading Dan Shaughnessy's woe-is-us column in the next day's Boston Globe.
Johnny D - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, thanks for the information about the documentary. The true story of the Edmund Fitzgerald is indeed a cautionary tale of the merchant marine.
Paul Robinson - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - Well, I just posted my first vote over on the "Whatfreaks" site for your submission of this piece. The comments sections there has not yet been created but per ChuckyG it is on the way and will be there soon. OH...by the way, Lightfoot appears to have written a number of cautionary tales for sailors, off-hand I can remember "Marie Christine", which was brisk, jaunty like number that I always have liked, and I would guess he probably did some others, too...
Johnny D - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul !
K1chyd - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my 5s.
Johnny D - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, K1chyd.
Royce Miller - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my 5's
Johnny D - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Edmund and I thank you, Royce.
Stuart McArthur - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
just came here from your link, JD - gee you marked out your territory early - LOL - and my favourite of all the comments is from Royce:
"if this is the only parody you ever write, and I hope it's not, you could be proud that it's just plain great" - she didn't have to worry :-) :-)
Johnny D - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stuart! ;-)
Scathe - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
This isn't as dirty as the title seemed to imply. Nice work JD.
Johnny D - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Scathe.
RogueWarrior1957 - November 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Great! I'm a fan of Gordon Lightfoot and the original song. The incident happened the fall after I graduated high-school. But the parody had given me the biggest laugh in a long time. Thanks Johnny D. I attempt to write a few parodies from time to time, but I'm not in your league. My regards...
Johnny D - November 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, RogueWarrior1957.
Claude Prez - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Johnny D took Amiright by storm with his very first parody here. I believe it also inspired the wave of twotef parodies that continued, like, forever. Today's classic.
Red Rooster from America - October 02, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm a bit surprised this parody got posted on this site, They say 'no sexually explicit entries are accepted'. Nonetheless, at least you were tasteful (enough) and not too detailed in an X-rated manner about it. I've been to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada and the story of the Edmund Fitzgerald is well known there, especially being since Gordon Lightfoot is from the area. One mistake -The Chippewa, Potawatomi and Ottawa formed a huge confederation covering the region called the Three Elder Fires. Hiawatha is from the Iroquois Confederacy and not from this region. The Chippewa Nation has that name in the US, and are called 'Ojibwa' in Canada. Good parody dong song, so long. BTW, FYI - songwriter Bruce Cockburn also hails from the area, but his last name is pronounced 'coh-burn', not what it looks like.

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