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Song Parodies -> "X-rated Films Can Be Amusing"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"X-rated Films Can Be Amusing"

Parody Written by:

Invisible Boy

The Lyrics

X-rated Films Can Be Amusing

Well…here is the tale of a typical male
With a typical need for diversion
And how to define where does one draw the line
Between entertainment and perversion

My story begins when my girl spoke of sins
“Honey, there’s something I’ve been withholding”
My heart nearly stopped and my jaw really dropped
When I saw “Miss November" unfolding

She went on to say “Baby, this is the way
I’ve been paying for college tuition”
At first I was hurt…but she started to flirt
In the end she “assumed the position”

Now, up until then I had now and again
Wondered what made my girlfriend so willing
But, later that night I was seeing the light
That my girl…by the hour…had been billing

“It’s not what you think”, she said, downing a drink
I believe in…artistic espression
I do what I can to help woman and man
And now boyfriend…please hear my confession”

“My family, you see, has a long history
Of producing films raw and explicit”
She said, with a squeal, “Let me show you my reel
Hurry-up…’cuz you won’t want to miss it”

A grainy old flick of her late “Uncle Dick”
Was the first she decided t’ show me
He reeked of romance in his bell-bottomed pants
And his screen name was Heywood Ja’bloeme

I thought for a while…then I started to smile
And I no longer found it confusing
I opened my eyes and I soon realized
That X-rated films can be amusing

Then next, to my shock, was her first cousin “Rock”
He looked like Mr. T…only Mohawk
I started to cough when his loincloth came off
And I saw he was shaved in a “Scro-hawk”

Now I wasn’t sure if I liked this coiffure
But I guess this way he’d have no rival
And less curly stuff made things easy to “fluff”
And to help with good Rocky’s revival

(homage to Mr. Spaff)

My girl finally put in a DVD
Of her dressed-up like Hannah Montana
And though she looked cute…with her basket of fruit
Still…that’s no way to treat a banana…

The scene changed again…now, 8 grizzled old men
Guzzled rum while they all sang sea shanties
I started to grin as my girlfriend walked-in
Sporting “Barnacle Bill” on her panties

She showed them her craft using both “fore” and “aft”
While they sang and continued their boozing
I giggled with glee and she knew I could see
That X-rated films can be amusing

So, now you all know my whole story…although
Sometimes some of it seems kitschy to me
When we go to bed…the word “Action” is said
If you’d like…you can watch…then review me…

IB


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   27
 27
 27
 

User Comments

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AFW - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Funtastic rewrite
McKludge - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha Ha Ha Ha Scro-hawk Ha Ha Ha ha
Agrimorfee - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh man, BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!! Instant SOTM vote right here.
Meriadoc - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job - loved the 'kitschy to me' for Gitchee Gumee.
alvin - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
amzing write....one of your best ever...especially liked heywood, rocky, banana and barnacle bill
Peter Andersson - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
TMGLTM!
Matthias - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
He's back... This was up to your typical amazing standards, and of course you're going to win the X round with this, I mean you have a good shot at SOTM with this even.
project sisyphus - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Hilarious...you had me at "Heywood Jabloeme." 5, er, "thumbs" up.
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks to AFW, McKludge, Agri, Meriadoc, alvin, Peter, Matty and project sisyphus.
I really appreciate the comments.

P.S. alvin...I think you are pretty amzing yourself ;-)...
Peregrin - July 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff IB! Many many fantastic lines :)
Spaff.com - July 24, 2008 - Report this comment
This Wrecks me. It warms the cockles of my heart and the heart of my coccyx. As they say on Amiright, TMGLTM. And yay for Rocky.
littleCupCakes - July 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Very funny & cute write, Sir! It was a joy to read; and yes, Dear Bill is just so Barn-able . . . as the cowgirls do say . . .
Stuart McArthur - July 24, 2008 - Report this comment
brilliant stuff IB - I totally agree with going for the rhythm over honouring each individual OS verse's quirks - that's what makes this such a fun read - and I think I remember seeing Heywood Ja’bloeme from back in the.......er, no I don'tBR>
clever punchlines and wordplay all the way through, although I was particularly impressed with "And to help with good Rocky’s revival" - 555
Michael Pacholek - July 28, 2008 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. So now we know why Sundown's been creepin' 'round the back stairs! She goes down more than the ship does! Good... uh... job?
Jason - July 30, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM-X Yes I know I am not participating this round, but if I did, here is my Comment:

Great effort!
Guy - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4X)

IB - You are giving Michael Pacholec a run for his money on cornering the market on this TWOTEF parody. This is as good or better than anything I've seen from him or anyone else for that matter. I've done this one a few times but mine pales in comparison to this one and Michael's for the most part. This OS is not an easy write for anyone and you did this righteous.

What Spaff said TMGLTM and you had me LOL at the "Heywood Ja’bloeme" ref. It blew me away (pun intended). And the fruit basket followed with the punchline of the banana was most excelent. As TWOTEF parodies go, this is top notch. And I know from some previous comments on the messageboard that you wrote this on the last day it could be eligible for comp. My hats off to you, even though I rarely wear one. It has to be raining or something for me to wear a hat. It was haircuts, shaving and hats worn outdoors that I disliked most about the military when I served. So my hat being off to you is not a lot of work but the sentiment is there just the same. Most excellent write!
Red Ant - July 31, 2008 - Report this comment
TMGLTM (all of them, actually: there's not a wasted line here) and possibly one of the five best endings to any parody ever. If I could do this justice, would you mind if I took a stab at recording it? 555++
Stuart McArthur - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) yes, I'm a big fan of this one, IB - see above comment - and Red was right when he said not a wasted line in it
Matthias - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment
There's no doubt in my mind who's getting the winning X-round award in my opinion. This one was XXX-cellent.
Below Average Dave - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
I am pretty sure that is the best parody that starts with the letter 'X' I have ever read in my life. Absolutely hilarious, you just made this round REALLY easy for me. . .Bravo IB
Dr Music - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh you dog. Better be careful or the FCC might censor you.
Jason - August 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See my X comment!
Matthias - August 12, 2008 - Report this comment
This has to be the best "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" parody on the site, I really hate the original song (It's SOOOO boring, not as boring as Desolation Row, but boring nonetheless). I can't wait to read the rest of your Big 7 parodies.
Guy - August 17, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Jul-08)

You won the ABC4X round with this one - now you go for SOTM. Nice choice for comp. See my comments above. Still funny and clever.
Dr Music - August 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Bravo. This song certainly could turn some people on.
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM)See above...
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) An interesting topic to say the least, and the pacing was 100% spot on. One of your best works, IB, that's for damn sure. 555!
Max Power - August 30, 2008 - Report this comment
A contender for the top 5
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
As everyone said, an awesome job with one of the tough songs. Lots and lots of hilarious lines!
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, still hate TOS though:)
Silver Power - January 17, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree completely with Jeff, Matthias, and the title. ;]
Glen S - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Belated congrats on this one, IB. Wrecked parodies (he he.... awww....) are a mixed bag for me. I feel like you did a very good job on the rhyme scheme. There were some small leaps of faith, but I was with you through the whole narrative. My mixed bag comes from the length of the song and how much it tends to drag on.
I think you did an excellent job on this, and I like the idea, but I also think a recorded version of this might be a hard sell due to the songs length.

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