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Song Parodies -> "The Deck Of The Hammond Wildcard"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Deck Of The Hammond Wildcard"

Parody Written by:

Ann Hammond

The Lyrics

The lesson learnt comes from the Tequila on down
From a big wake I yelled HOKEY POKEY
The wake from bunk bed it did not clear my head
And the fries had last supper were fishy

Sitting cross legged on the floor 26 or 5 no 4
Then the Hammond wildcard played Bisley
That good deck was blue like the sky different hued
Then some gales from bean eater came smelly

The deck was quite wide got a splinter in my hide
Jumping jack and a squeal like sannyasin
Ahh a big splinter whoa and was bigger then most
With some salt stop the bleeding now seasoned

Discussing some terms with some nods and aye affirms
And we left bases loaded was Cleveland
The ladder had height when I climbed it dang
Is it bird nest phobia I’m feeling?

Then when I saw Myers waved and welocomish sound
And from wave dropped jokers and casing
And downward they flew as the card box dropped too
****it now can’t play what I was dealing

Came down too late s*** well isn’t that just great
When a gale blew the jokers and casing
Afternoon came a jack soaked in rain
And blown off like a hurricane rockin

When supper time came I had lost half my deck
Saying Dam*** it's too tough to save ya
At 7PM I lost cards 1 through 10
King said servants it’s been good to work ya

Was working tired then more gales were blowing in
And then the left a few were in peril
And later that night the cards they flew out of sight
Lost the deck of the Hammond Wildcard.

Does anyone know how I loved that deck so?
And the games passed by minutes and hours
The Searchers ask hey where's the flowers today?
We need fifteen more gallons of sugar.

I think I spit up what I ate super sized
Either that or some ocean water
But all I retains arr the faces and the games
Of the kings and the queens tie down mother

Lake Charon rows, to Hades he brings
And the freeze of Ice water expansion
Old Michigan Maid no chips to be laid
The islands don't cry no affection

Wont eat this you know want Oreo
I'll take what elf Ernie can send me
And the iron bats no that the Mariners all know
What was it I said I remembered?

In that crazy bird nest I wanted to play
With some bicycle riders Illegal?
My ears they chimed that day 54 times
For each lost from deck Hammond wildcard

I recalled spare deck from sienna pants brown
And I dropped it now I'm cursing swearing
To Captain I say please move one step some way
Could not play where cap i tan was standing

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Ann, this was a lot of fun to read, made Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" make sense! You broke quite a few rules of rhyme scheme and pacing along the way, though, so I have to give you 454. You can't mess with the TWOTEF too much. :) (Hope to see you compete in Amiright Idle!)
Michael Pacholek - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment. Ann, you're such a card. And you have both heart and talent in spades. You're a diamond in the rough. Welcome to the Wreck-Writers' Club. I hope this comment suits you fine.
Ann Hammond - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Agri- I don't know if I qualify for the idle. I've never gotten a metal but I never entered eaither. Michael P- I didn't know there was a Wreck-Writers club too
Agrimorfee - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Ann, this contest was designed with people like you in mind--folks who don't ordinarily get "to shine" here. Take a look and see!
Ann hammond - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
^ I read The line where it said if you entered and didnt get a medal and missed the line that says if you never entered you would qualify. I'm in
Invisible Boy - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
An epic write here, Ann to an OS I haven't had the nerve to attempt...Good job.
Ann Hammond - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
^ Thanks This was the worst of the big 7 for me. I'm not sure if Desolation Row or this was harder for me but there both a very painful pain in the butt.
Meriadoc - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
The Joker went wild and the Red Queen lost her head, but makes for an entertaining saga.
LittleTequilaCakes - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Lady Ann, you've broken the ~Sound Barrier ~ here! Fine work: it's first rate "Cabo-Wabo" ! Ay, Cohiba !
Ann Hammond - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Meriadoc and LT Cakes

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