Well hello, my friends, it’s good to see you again
Help yourself to some drinks, roll the barrel
It’s time to descend into the saga with no end
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”

Gordon Lightfoot it seems, singer of modest means
Was not ever remembered por nada
Had talent for overwrought symbols and rhymes
While busking in his native Canada

One saga he wrote, the Ed Fitz I now tote,
Is a trial of a mere 14 verses
Like a broke carillon, it just goes on and on
It sends most parodists into curses

Now some do mention it’s one of the Big 7
Which prior I had never cut into
Along with “Be Our Guest”, “Blinded By The Light”
“Bohemian Rhapsody” (yes that, too)

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”
And of course, “Modern Major General”
“American Pie” with song length atrocious
Songs that make us yearn for some Demerol

Now the Am Pie had been done, and it was kind of fun
And the last month got most out of the way
But then I caroled, “Now I’ve got to do ‘Fitzgerald’!”
How the heck will I get done this wordplay?

I gave a verse before that wasn’t a chore
In “The Dreck Called American Idol”
But to tackle the whole song, my brain must be strong
Give me aspirin—no, not a Midol

So I sat and whined, scratched in mind some good lines
When I became so bored doing laundry
I realized a guide really must be applied
To rescue me out of this quandary

The 14 verses, you see, provide some symmetry
But yes, the pacing is somewhat haggard
The odd lines go from 9 to 13 beats
While the evens get 10, there’s the hazard

While the odds rhyme sometimes, Gord Lightfoot pulls crimes!
The evens must always rhyme sweetly
Does anyone give a whelp to the real song itself,
Or are you all like me bored completely?

And wouldn’t you know, I have four verses to go
Looks like I will need to do some research
Must view other styles in the Amiright files
Or else my good rep will end up besmirched

So now on this date, 2-12-08
I looked at the parodies of ‘TWOTEF’
Glory be, golly gee! There are 86 to see
32 are by Michael Pacholek!

Topics I see all of much variety
Politics and pop culture and hot sex
Why I even bothered to give this a try?
I give up; this thing is just too complex!

Let’s forget the whole thing, I’m no parody king
Why did I commit to the Big 7?
Just throw this rough draft right into the trash,
And I’ll see you bastards, not in heaven!