First I was afraid I was petrified
I was so scared I couldn't move my arms from side to side
But then I squirmed around and found that I could move my head along
And I grew strong, looking over at the bong

And so I'm back, back from the dead
But now this morning all my friends don't laugh at everything I've said
Why did I change that stupid lock when I went in the den to pee
Now the whole floor is wet and soggy and it really bothers me!

I will attempt
To find the door
Maybe I'll see it
Way at the end of this long floor
I was the one
Who tried to eat those seven pies
When I had the munchies
Then I thought I'd lay down and die!

I know that I - I was so high
So freakin' loaded that I tried to
Stick a fork into my eye
Now a great big mess remains
And I must have s**t for brains
I was so high
I was so high

Six-foot house of cards upon the desk top fell apart
The jelly stains still on the mirror are a work of art
And I've spent oh so many nights having parties just like these
It's such a joke, but now at least I don't snort coke

I stepped upon my good friend Dan
While disengaging the computer mouse from my old ceiling fan
And then my straight-laced landlord called and said he's coming over now
If I don't straighten up this place in time, he's gonna have a cow

I will attempt
To find the door
Maybe I'll see it
Way at the end of this long floor
I was the one
Who tried to eat eleven pies
When I had the munchies
Then I thought I'd lay down and die!

I know that I - I was so high
So freakin' loaded that I tried to
Stick a fork into my eye
Now a great big mess remains
And I must have s**t for brains
I was so high
I was so high - owwww, owwww!