Rang them phones off the hook, told LuAnn and Artie
Better get their ass down here by three
'Cause I'm sure gonna' throw a big Welfare Party
One hot dang! ole bash, yesirree

There'll be boxes of cheese, good butter and rice
Bought a keg, and my check is all gone
Bet y'all will have fun, at my Welfare Party
And get too damned drunk to go home

There'll be powdered milk, powdered eggs to scramble
Cans of lunch meat that looks kinda' blue
You'll be stuffed at the end of my Welfare Party
There's an outhouse when you need one, too

Lotsa' boxes a' cheese, good butter and rice
Keg a' beer, now my check is all gone
Know y'all will have fun, at my Welfare Party
And get too damned drunk to go home

(My trailer's the third one on the left, Just look fer the pink lazy boy on the side porch)