Now believe me when I tell you that my song is really true
I want everyone to hear the tragic tale
It's about my dear ol' daddy, he's the man in this poem
And all the stuff he does when he gets home
Drives into the driveway and he runs over the dog
Trashes the garage, he thinks it's a mirage
Then he stumbles from his Buick with his pipe right in his hand
Takes a lot of rock to get this way

Lights up and tokes up and stones out every day
Mama tries to stop him but he pushes her away
And all of the while when he's frying his brain
He can't realize he's gonna pay

Sits down in his lazy boy and watches his TV
He laughs at what he sees, static's on the screen
Can't stand to be around him when his head is out of whack
Help get my father off crack

He zones out every day in a world of his own
He never sleeps, he's always flying high
Last week he tried to swim in the toilet again
And stuck a pair of tweezers in his eye

Lights up and tokes up and stones out every day
Mama tries to stop him but he pushes her away
And all of the while when he's frying his brain
He can't realize he's gonna pay

Daddy takes his paycheck to an alley down the block
To buy his drugs from some unsightly thugs
My whole family worries if he doesn't ever stop
He's gonna wind up on "Cops"
He's gonna wind up on "Cops"
He's gonna wind up on "Cops"