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Song Parodies -> "SCOTUS Decree"

Original Song Title:

"Cosmik Debris"

Original Performer:

Frank Zappa

Parody Song Title:

"SCOTUS Decree"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

I regret to inform that the International Song Parody Council turned down my request to use the Barry Manilow Song "I Write The Song" to protest the recent Supreme Court ruling on Obmacare; re-affirming yet again that Barry Manilow can only be used for mockery and gloating. However they did suggest that a Frank Zappa song would be a appropriate vehicle to protest the surreality of Justice Robert's ruling, hence ...
The Supremo Man came over
And said, "You're mostly right"
And he said with a nominal compromise
You'll win this Commerce Clause fight
If I was ready willing and able
To call a penalty a tax
He'd curb expansion via Commerce Claus
But ACA wouldn't get the axe

And I said "Look here, Roberts"
Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Now who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
And I said "Look now, Roberts"
Don't you foist this tax on me

The Supremo Man got nervous
Said "Court's integ'rty I must defend"
Then he reached in the pocket of his judicial robe
And brought out his writing pen
Now I thought he'd just interpret
On the proper bounds he'd rule
But he told me right there as he flipped off the cap
There was nothing his pen couldn't do
With a disdain for jurisprudence
And a smooch to Obam's wazoo
He said, "You might not believe it, little wingnut"
But I've made a tax by judicial review

And I said, "Look, Judge Roberts"
Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Now who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Look Judge Roberts
Don't you foist a tax on me

"But you've caused new problems", I said
Now they can tax to the nth degree
Can they pass legislations with tax implications
If I don't want to buy broccoli?
But I have the rewrite pen, he said
As he held it to the light
But I snatched it away from him
And showed him how to do it right

(Break to frantic uptempo narration)

I'd look to the plain text of the law
And see that it's a penalty
Then I'd look at the Commerce Clause
Ask, "Does it allow for this decree"
Can "commerce" mean "compelled to buy"
Is that interpretation unsound
Is this what Framers had in mind
If not, then The Mandate goes down
Wouldn't give a damn about my legacy
Because of something Obama said
He's not the last word on that anyway
Cause in four months, his legacy's dead

So look John Roberts
Who you jivin' with that SCOTUS decree
Now is this an Art I tax or a SCOTUS tax?
You know, you've caused more chaos than a bomb throwing anarchist
So don't you foist that tax on me
Don't foist that tax on me

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - July 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice one-555!!! But why didn't you just take the Manilow song and turn it into "He Got It Wrong"??? Actually, you can still use this :)
Brock O'Brahma - July 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Who knew that those stuffed shirts at the ISPC not only get Zappa, but they also knew you would do such a fine parody. Do they take donations?
Callmelennie - July 04, 2012 - Report this comment
I was just going for the joke, Rob. Of course I could do a Manilow parody -- I rewrite laws that make the Executive King .. I rewrite laws to save the damnable thing ... I rewrite laws that make the young girls buy .. I am SCOTUS, and I rewrite LAWS!!
Callmelennie - July 04, 2012 - Report this comment
And to Brock .. just for a minute I was looking at ISPC and going "What the hell is that?" I wasn't getting my own joke :-D
Rob Arndt - July 04, 2012 - Report this comment
"I got it wrong with the 5-4 Leftist leaning/ I got it wrong by interpreted taxing/ I got it wrong, the decision was mine/ I am Roberts, and I got it wrong!"
Randy Hearn - July 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Good one!
BAS-AZ - August 17, 2014 - Report this comment
"Now is that an Art I levy, or a Supreme levy?" That's much closer to "Now, is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho." Need to get that one right; that's one of Zappa's most iconic lines

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