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Song Parodies -> "Your Teeth's Too Big"

Original Song Title:

"Your Feet's Too Big"

Parody Song Title:

"Your Teeth's Too Big"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Here is the third song from I'm Misbehavin'. Like Fats Waller, Fats Whitford influenced and was influenced by this contemporaries. While he didn't write (innumerable versions of) I Put A Spell On You, the beaver songs of the venerable and prolific John A. Barry left a mark (ouch!) on this writer. By the way, Peter Marshall was the long time host of The Hollywood Squares. ;D

(Spoken over piano Intro)
Who's that chomping on that tree?
Must be Igor...Igor Bea-vor, that's what I calls him!

In the streams and ponds of the mighty Northwest
Are those creatures J.A.B. likes best.
They're damming rivers and felling the trees.
The work hard and they are cute...but please!

Your teeth's too big!
Don't bite me 'cause your teeth's too big!
Don't fight me 'cause your teeth's too big!
Don't spite me 'cause your teeth's too big!

Whaa - dee - ah - da! Whatcha doin'?
Whaa - dee - ah - da! Watcha chewin'?

We like your tail and we love your coat.
We love the way that you can build a moat.
We'd never want to see you caught in a trap,
But when we look inside your mouth...oh crap!

Your teeth's too big!
A redwood you can kill! Your teeth's too big!
You ever get your fill? Your teeth's too big!
How big's your dentist bill? Your teeth's too big!

You've got that enormous partial!
Your face looks like Peter Marshall!
Your incisors - oh my sirs - their size sirs -
'Cause your teeth's too big!

(Narration over stride piano solo)
Yeah, come on and dam that stream!
DAMN! I never seen such damming! Mercy!

(Spoken after the last note)
Your dental appendages really are prehistoric!
One never GNAWS, does one!


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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
You really sunk your teeth into this one! Dam fine write down by the Ribber!!!
Barry J. Mitchel - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Great alliterations and inside-the-lines rhyming, suitable for your next gig. 555
Andria - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job here... beavers are always funny, and I've seen more than my fair share of dead ones. We don't need no stinkin' beavers, but you get these stinkin' fives! ;-)
2Eagle - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
They always have the dam work to do - no rest for a beaver.
Christie Marie M - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Dam, dam, dam! A dam fine satire from the Ribber! Seems like you just caught beaver fever!! Chomping 555's for this one! Great pacing, and dug the puns in your song, esp. the speaking part in the end!
AFW - May 27, 2010 - Report this comment
To tell ya' the tooth...this is real biting satire..
SweetCruiseLine - June 01, 2010 - Report this comment
Love the " P Marshall" line, Sir, as I've met P. M. when my folks took a cruise, where he provided the entertainment. He actually looks good & is very energetic for his age!

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