Saw you on my workout day,
You were minding business and I was minding mine too.
Lady, when I looked your way,
I got a sick sensation and darn it, that's when I knew...

That it’s bad to the rear of someone else,
If the front one wears a thong.
Yes, it's sad to the rear of someone else,
If that front one wears a thong.

Oh, I stretch into my tights,
And I reach the entrance hoping you won’t be there.
But instead I find your buns,
Bouncing right in front of me, your gross derriere...

Yes it’s bad to the rear of someone else,
If the front one wears a thong.
Yes, it's sad to the rear of someone else,
If the front one wears a thong.

So I'll live my life in a dream world,
For the rest of the week.
Just you and the twins wobbling out the door,
It’s a wishful memory...
Oh, I guess that's all that it will ever be...

I wish I had a ThighMaster, I could,
Make myself go back until the day that I joined.
I could even try Fen fen,
And rearrange it so that I'd be slim from now on.

Yes it’s bad to the rear of someone else,
If the front one wears a thong.
Yes, it's sad to the rear of someone else,
If the front one wears a thong.

Etc.