I looked out for my jew canoe,
Had been stolen by a thief.
Smashed up and mangled, left abandoned.
Filled my heart with grief.

Crumpled was the fender.
Doors crushed on both sides.
It got mashed in a rear-end wreck.
Now I'll need 4 new tires.

So, where to now, tow driver?
Where you gonna tow my car?
This may cost lots of money
So I'll use my credit card.
It won't be back upon the road
'til all repairs are done.
So, how much now, tow driver?
This isn't too much fun.
Not too much fun.

Was taken by a rich, young foreign punk.
This crazy guy was bored.
Took it for nothing, now I end up
With a theft report.

Damaged was the dashboard.
Torn up were the seats.
The bastard vandal trashed my stereo,
and smashed all my CD's.

So, where to now, tow driver?
Where you gonna tow my car?
This will cost lots of money
So I'll use my credit card.
It won't be back upon the road
'til all repairs are done.
So, how much now, tow driver?
This isn't too much fun.
Not too much fun.