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Song Parodies -> "Krokodil Drug"

Original Song Title:

"Crocodile Rock"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Krokodil Drug"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

More on krokodil, see here. That originally Russian drug, chemically impure desomorphine, is really icky stuff - it is really only for losers who want to self-euthanize themselves in one or two years
I remember when I was young
I did stupid things I thought was fun
Drinking liquor and smoking pot
Heroin and crack and meth, that's where I my kicks got
But the meanest thing I ever knocked
was the thing called Krokodil Drug
when the party-lovers smoked the pot
only losers killed themselves with the Krokodil Drug

Well, Krokodil drugging is something shocking
when your limbs keep turning black
I never knew a worse drug hell and it is far more worse than smackl
Oh Lord, they cook it from codeine
with help of phosphorus and the iodine
and Krokodil drug is worse than heroin!

When two years went by, all those junkies died
Stupid things, they carried them an awful price
Iodine stench and the phossy jaw
Impure desomorphine has an awful gnaw
But they'll never kill the chills I got
when they shot themselves the Krokodil drug
Learning fast as the weeks went past
we never thought what Krokodil drug would cast

Well, Krokodil drugging is something shocking
when your limbs keep turning black
I never knew a worse drug hell and it is far more worse than smackl
Oh Lord, they cook it from codeine
with help of phosphorus and the iodine
and Krokodil drug is worse than heroin!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

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User Comments

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anonymous commentator - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
That Crocodile stuff is awful. It basically rots you from inside. I have seen what it does to people. It is far worse than meth, what is bad enough.
Patrick - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
A friend of mine has watched his brother on jail web sites, where his mug shot frequently appears. He is destroying himself with meth. I will never understand the drugger mentality. Have you seen the movie "Fatal Beauty". A poisoned batch of heroin has come to town, and Whoopie Goldberg and Sam Elliot play a team of detectives trying to track the source. They drive into an alley and spot a line of people a block long waiting outside a drug dealer's illegal store for the chance to buy the latest high. When a promising young basketball star died suddenly from an overdose, it was said that the drug dealers walked the streets of the slums shouting that they had "Len Bias Cocaine" for sale. What an advertisement.
Rob Arndt - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Does this come in pill form? 555 Mg!!!
Jonathan - December 01, 2014 - Report this comment
Don't Touch That Crocodile! 5's
Susanna VIljanen - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Rob, fortunately no. Krokodil is basically awfully impure desomorphine. The Russian junkies cook it from codeine, which is freely available at Russian pharmacies. First, codeine is extracted from the crushed pills by automotive gasoline. Codeine then is turned by iodine and hydrochlorid acid (battery acid) into alpha-chlorocodide, which in turn is converted into desocodeine by catalytic reduction by and red phosphorus (scratched off matches and matchboxes). This in turn is converted into desomorphine by demethylation by hydrochloric acid. It goes without further saying that the end product is very impure and contains gasoline, iodine, HCl and phosphorus and other by-products since very few junkies have any idea of organic chemistry. And that injecting that stuff inside you is going to cause problems - especially as the pH of the stuff is close to 3 (quite acidic, which rots bones and teeth). A simple extraxtion and recrystallization would remove the impurities, but few junkies have any idea of that - and they kill themselves with impure krokodil. It is said that a krokodil user can be instantly recognized from the stench of iodine.
Rob Arndt - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Similarly, the declassification of the Nazi drug D.IX made it impossible for the American Journal of Medicine to list all of its components and manufacturing method. D.IX caused German soldiers to become robotic zombie-like killing machines that could march 55 miles and then fight the Red Horde. It was intended to keep midget sub crews alert for long missions but the SS took over the program from Kiel amd manufactured the drug, testing it out on Dachau prisoners first. Production bgan in 1945 with a goal of millions of pills by October 1945 for use with the Heer and Waffen SS. Some SS units got it and fought Red soldiers. Many continued to fight even after being hit by SMG fire. No pain response. Walking dead. Scary stuff...
Susanna Viljanen - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
D-IX was scary stuff. It was a cocktail of 5 mg of oxycodone (brand name Eukodal), 5 mg of cocaine and 3 mg of methamphetamine (then called Pervitin, now available under the brandname Desoxyn). It basically turned a soldier into a blabbering and hypertuned tireless killing machine who could fight for days without sleep. But like all amphetamine derivatives, it came with price - it was highly addictive and the soldiers needed days of rest to recover. But at least that stuff was chemically pure.
Rob Arndt - December 02, 2014 - Report this comment
Finnish patrols took so-called sisu pills given to them by the Germans and also had the most opiate dependent troops post-war per capita due to heavy usage against the Reds. I think that heroin was a big deal in Finland. Germans were sustained by Pervitin and other amphetamines shipped to the fronts via mail. The D.IX components are missing several other ingredients tested at Dachau and later used as space medicine research in the US for long missions. Another Reich secret held by the US.

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