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Song Parodies -> "Rancid Custard"

Original Song Title:

"Tiny Dancer"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Rancid Custard"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

yeah, I have been working with some Elton John songs of late...lotsa fun...
[Piano Intro]

Rancid custard
Now I must turd
Running for the can
Hold my thighs
What's inside
It's not what I had planned

Diarrhea
An innard cleaner
Body's last resort

What was in me
Must be emptied
Then I'll eat food that is bland

[instrumental break]

Whole place reeks
I stained my sheets
Nasty stink throughout my house
Burning ass
And awful gas
I'm hoping this will soon pass

In pain, oh man
I fill up the can
Wonder where all this came from

On the john
For way too long
It hurts me so
My ruined bum

[instrumental break]

My butt
How it hurts; I squeal
Sitting here
On my sore rear

I must "poo"
It's burns and sears me
It burns so awfully
Totally

Wash my clothes out
Do my pants first
Get those stains out
Of my skivvies

Put in lots of bleach
Use plenty
I hope those brown streaks go away

I'm still moaning
Damn, my ass hurts
Rectum red from
Too much wiping

All my sheets are streaked
And reeking
I might just throw them all away

[instrumental break]

Ate bad custard
Stomach; does hurt
Must eat food that's bland
My insides
They feel fried
Not very amusing, man

Salmonella
Ain't much fun, fella
Real sore is my can

I feel like bleep
Bleat like a sheep
My poor ass sure hurts; oh damn

[instrumental break]

Oh-oh
That is what I feared
Cut a fart
But something smeared
Wasn't through
Not through; not nearly
There's sh*t all on me
It's gross; eek!

A gross crap I
Took in pants, sir
Stuck in traffic
On the highway

No restrooms
Within my vision
I'm stuck here in my crap
Oy Vey!

Think I'll have clear soup
For dinner
Pass on "Real" food
For a few days

No more custard
Now for dessert
I learned the hard way
You could say

[instrumentals out to End]

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
A painfully funny read.
alvin rhodes - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
disgustingly funny and perhaps the first time ever "turd" was used as a verb...well, off to lunch
Paul Robinson - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
You ain't sh*ttin', JB...thanks, alvin ~ ~ ~
Meriadoc - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh Lord - what a truly awful thing to do to that lovely OS..... (giggle) :-O
Adagio - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Gave you 5's. holding my nose all the way (This is a lot more disgusting than the 'song'.
Paul Robinson - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Mer - yeah, ain't it bee-yu-tiff-full ~ ~ ~ Pat, you mean the written version is stinkier than the recording? How can that be? Maybe my soothing vocal tones?? lol
MasonR - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
What Meriadoc said! ;-) Funny coincidence, I'm working on a parody of "The Hippy Hippy Shake" called "There's Something Nasty In My Shake..." but I don't think it'll be anywhere close to this one in quality and, um, aroma.
Stuart McArthur - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
some of us are obviously missing whatfreaks more than others, paul! - lol - 555
TJC - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
In this version of Custard's last stand... You win!
Paul Robinson - September 05, 2006 - Report this comment
MasonR, Stuart & TJC - Thanks! Sorry for the delay in responding, my home PC is having problems connecting to the InterNet so I was "unwired" the entire Holiday weekend...

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