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Song Parodies -> "Bennie And The Breasts"

Original Song Title:

"Bennie And The Jets"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Bennie And The Breasts"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

(piano instrumental intro)

Hey, guys, shake it hard together
The spotlight's hittin' someone
Who's been known to dress in leather

We'll swill the Miller draft tonight,
So,
Stick around!

You're gonna see electric pasties!
Shift your balls around!

Say, Candy and Connie, have you seen them yet?
Ooo, butts are all they've got

Bu-bu-bu-bu-but Bennie's got the breasts!

Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful!

Oh Bennie, she's Sextuple-D!

She's got electric tubes
To hold her boobs

You know she got 'em from a mutated gene! (Yeah! Ho!)

B-B-B-Bennie and the breasts!


(brief piano instrumental)


Hey, guys, plug into the waitress!
If you can't find it,
Viagra makes you ageless!

That gal's got drive!
Let us shake our selfish dongs!

Miller Lite or Guinness Stout is so sweet!
Get blind drunk - fight - and booze on!

Say, Candy and Connie, have you seen them yet?
Oh, butts are all they've got

Bu-bu-bu-bu-but Bennie's got the breasts!

Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful!

Oh Bennie, she's Sextuple-D!

Her two enormous norks
Make lots of torque

Whenever Bennie does a pole-dancing scene! (Yeah! Ho!)

B-B-B-Bennie and the breasts!


(piano instrumental bridge)


Oh, Candy and Connie, have you seen them yet?
Oh, butts are all they've got

Bu-bu-bu-bu-but Bennie's got the breasts!

Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful!

Oh Bennie, she's Sextuple-D!

Her boob-a-licious bulk
Green like "The Hulk"

Came from a tanning-bed with Gamma-Ray beams! (Yeah! Ho!)

B-B-B-Bennie and the breasts!

Bennie, Bennie and the breasts
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the breasts
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the breasts

Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the breasts
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the breasts
Breasts
Breasts
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the breasts
I've posted my first parody recording on Amiright: http://www.amiright.com/performances/items/performances_1088425474.shtml

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rod Worden - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
B-B-B-Best boob job I've read in awhile! 555 fraps, Johnny.
Sam - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Normally I love your parodies, but not when they're about bigger boobs being better. Stick to other topics or you'll lose a lot of womens votes.
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Rod: Thanks!

Sam: Thank you, Sam. But don't you see that these are "parodies", meaning they are NOT to be taken seriously?

My parodies about "boobs" AND "dongs" are stupid, inane, totally meaningless pieces of humor - that is all.

Besides, Sam.....don't you realize I have written many, many more parodies about "bigger dongs being better" than about "bigger boobs being better" ? And both categories of parodies are MEANINGLESS my friend --- totally, utterly, stupidly meaningless.....they are nothing but simple silliness !!

Peace, and thanks for taking the time to speak with me, I appreciate your feedback. :-)

P.S. ---- Would any of my female readers care to weigh-in on this topic? I invite your comments, thank you.
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
P.S. ----- Would any of my male readers care to weigh-in on this topic, too? I invite your comments as well, thank you.

Remember Johnny D's stupidly dirty little parody mind, everybody ..... please, please, PLEASE never take me or what I write too seriously!

Besides, I have formally invited BOTH men and women to "weigh-in" on this topic .... that's a "Pseudo-Freudian-Slip" that I came up with as my randy little invitation for BOTH my male and female readers! Peace, people, I love you all. ;-D
Male Reader - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, without necessarily agreeing with Sam's eloquently-stated point, it must be said that humor can and often does reflect unfortunate socio-political biases. In those all-too-rare instances when comedy is sophisticated enough to play on these biases yet simultaneously reveal their destructive force, then the humor is used for higher purposes -- this we often recognize as that blissfully delightful phenomenon commonly recognized as 'comic-' or 'comedic genius'. This we have seen in the comedy of Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and (in her earlier, 'pre-Hollywood sellout' incarnation) Whoopi Goldberg... But having said all that, please bring more of the 'big-titty women' stuff! That sh*t is hilarious!
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, people like what they like...big boobs, big butt, big dongs...and soulful eyes! But it is a parody and a good one!
Ashkicksass - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok, first off, was I the only one who imagined Fiona from "Shrek" dancing around up there? Secondly, I don't take offense at all to any of your parodies, Johnny. They are never mean spirited and always obviously all in good fun. I think smaller breasted women get sick of the big breasted girls getting all the attention, but I also think they need to relax. Most men I know like all sorts of breasts. They don't care what size they are. And I don't think you're going to lose any votes from women unless said women are insecure and can't laugh at themselves. Like you said, this is supposed to be fun!
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Saam? Are you insinuating that some women on this site might be mammary gland deficient? :D
Arwen - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know why I didn't see this one the first 85 times I looked at the new posts for today, Johnny. I even noticed all of your comments about so many Boob songs today, and didn't make a connection that yours was one of them. I'm an idiot! So Sorry! It's fabulous!! 555!
Sam - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, I really wasn't offended per se, and don't think that big boob parodies carry any more WEIGHT than big dong parodies--no double standard, okay? Like Adagio, most of the men don't care about size, just as most of the women I know don't either. And the large breasted women don't get ALL the attention. Maybe it's the full moon. Maybe it's because my boobs and my dong are sensitive right now.
alvin rhodes - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
norks, eh ?....hmmmm...never heard that term before....5s
Melhi - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
(voted earlier, came back to weigh in) For what it's worth, this naturally well-endowed female reader loved it.
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody.

Male Reader: (1) Thanks for your eloquent reply; (2) Want more? Watch for my new ABBA parody tomorrow, "Dongs 'n Boobs"; (3) Whose male do you read, anyway?

Adagio: Thanks for your support, Pat! When God designed the human body, a sense of humor was definitely in play!

Ashkicksass: You speak truth --- men like all sorts of female chests, from perfectly flat to Bennie-Bizarro --- so it's a boob, er, moot point!

Arwen: No problem, Your Vin Diesel-Hugging Highness!

Sam: I know whatcha mean, my boobs and my dong can get sensitive, too. Maybe we need a "mansierre".

alvin: It's abbreviated slang for "knockers".

Melhi: I thank you, and I thank your "girls", too.
The Thought Police - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
After a rash, er -oops,(scratch that) bunch of paRODies jockeying for the POLE position ,seeing one about boobies was definately a step in the right erecti--oh,I mean,direction for me. Now ,I will run down the 647 reasons why I like boobies --number one,I like the way they--(NOTE: THIS PART OF MESSAGE DELETED FOR REASONS OF DECENCY)-- and THAT is wky I'm giving this parody 3 fives !
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Anybody else see definitions showing up in yellow....like "elequont"?
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
TTP: Thanks!

Pat: Nope, I don't ... maybe your computer picked up something from the Web?
Meriadoc - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Boobiful take on the original, which was pretty (lactose?) intolerable!
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Merry! As you can see from the comments posted on this parody, we've all pretty much milked the subject of boobies for all it's worth - and all its girth!
Peregrin - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it! Parodies are parodies! The thing I love about them is that unlike real life I DON'T have to watch every P & Q I utter. Don't stop JD, the world needs more like you!
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Pippin! Don't you worry your furry hobbit feet! Watch for my parody "Dongs 'n Boobs!" tomorrow!
Cookie-man - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, that was simply the breast!!! 555
Adagio - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
With all these boob parodies today, us women don't have to worry about life vests in the ocean...we'll just float ashore...:D.
Johnny D - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Cookie-man: Thanks! Parodies about Love Puppies are a lot of fun! Yeah, them Bumbledybobbins and Winnebagos really make for goofy material....all you've gotta do is toss in a few pairs of Balombahooeys, some rounder-pounders, a goodly number of Tuna Helpers, and a wide selection of Nimbles, Gazoombas, Bubble Buddies, Face Balloons, Hillaries, Everests, McKinleys, Love Bumpers, Bahoozits, Ta-Ta's, and Monsters Of The Midway, and you're all set - and of course don't forget Laverne and Shirley!

Adagio: Reminds me of the WAVES!
Adagio - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, Waves as in ocean waves?

Btw, I'm running a program to get rid of spyware/adware/scumware etc. to get rid of the yellow words.
Leo Jay - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I think we've run out of breast puns, so I'll just say: ha, that was funny!
Melhi - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
"Bumbledybobbins" "Balombahooeys" "Nimbles" "Gazoombas" "Bahoozits" "Ta-Ta's"

So THAT'S what Dr. Seuss was always on about!!! It all makes sense, now!!! ;)
Johnny D - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Leo Jay: Thank you!

Melhi: Now you can do a parody of "Green Eggs And Ham" using some of these Seussian Euphemisms!
========================== - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
speaking of green eggs and ham weird al yankovic did a parody of that song using rhymes from the book while trying to do a parody of numb by u2

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