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Song Parodies -> "It Blows (That I Can't Lick Their Toes)"

Original Song Title:

"Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)"

Original Performer:

Edison Lighthouse

Parody Song Title:

"It Blows (That I Can't Lick Their Toes)"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

Another simian song from the Monkey Room, courtesy of Arwen and Johnny D ..... AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Reuters) -- Unsolicited toe-licking would be banned in the Netherlands under a law sought by the Dutch Labor party after police were unable to prosecute a would-be Casanova with a taste for female toes because he had committed no crime. .......... http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/08/06/crime.toes.reut/index.html
Dutch ho's cost you money
Their clothes are kinda funny
Their hair is kinda wild and free

Oh but it blows
That I can't lick their toes
On Amsterdam's city streets

They walk kinda slinky
Their perfume's kinda stinky
And they need some Listerine

Oh but it blows
That I can't lick their toes
Oh woe is a schmo like me


There's somethin' about their feet that I find
Blows my fetishist mind
And I've just gotta sa-ay

They've really got a magical smell
And they're stinkin' like hell
But I can't pull away


I'm a fetish-fella
And I've just gotta tell ya
That I love their girly feet

Oh but it blows
That I can't lick their toes
Rent videos - lick the screen!


There's somethin' about their toes that I like
While they're riding a bike
Pedal-pumping awa-ay

Their toe-jam has a magical smell
And it tastes like hair-gel
Mixed with sweat and Ben-Gay


I'm a sicko-stalker
Of every barefoot walker
Who's female with sexy feet

And now it blows
That I can't lick their toes
Oh no more toe-jam to eat!

(fade out)

Cops are watching every place I've been
Oh woe is a schmo like me

When I lick toes, sometimes I get kicked-nose
Oh woe is a schmo like me

La la la --- believe me when you feel me
Oh woe is a schmo like me

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   9
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User Comments

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John Barry - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
'dam funny. 15 toes.
Schizo - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but some great lines.
Bob Gomez - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
This is one of your most disgusting songs ever. Great work on the rhymes. There's a club for foot fetishists in New York--maybe that guy needs to go there--or write more parodies? d;:^)
alvin rhodes - August 08, 2004 - Report this comment
i guess there's no reason for me to visit amsterdam, then....5s
Ashkicksass - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Ugh...wish I new the original...I think...
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
On behalf of our charming and lovely Monkey-Queen-Of-The-Jungle Arwen, as well as myself, Johnny Chimpan-D, thank you all, ooo ooo ooo eee eee eee ah ah ah!
Ravyn Rant - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
The thump you may have just heard was me falling on the floor laughing. May I send the link to my buddy with the foot fetish? Kudos and fives, Arwen & Johnny!
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
After this one, Arwen will be allowed. What an improvement on the original tune.
Arwen - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Allowed to do what, Robert? Lick your toes? Yowza!

I really can't take a lot of credit for this...I suggested the original and thought up 2 lines...and then I come back from vacation to find myself linked to the gloriously talented Mr. D. GREAT JOB on the brunt of the song, JD!!

You all know that I'll take ALL the praise you guys can throw...so thanks anyway...hehehe...=)
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Arwen - that's not my fetish. You are now allowed to come to NYC.
Johnny D - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
"that's not my fetish" ..... so, what IS your fetish, RJP ? ;-)
Arwen - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh give me a break! I was SOOO allowed before. The only reason you guys were even getting together was in hopes to lure me out there to visit...I KNOW it! ; )

Glad to hear your giving up on your denial, though, Robert...=)

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