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Song Parodies -> "Life In The Rest Home"

Original Song Title:

"Life In The Fast Lane"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Life In The Rest Home"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

He was a wrinkled old man; he had thirty-three grandsons
And she was certainly a biddy
She helped him up when he fell down square dancin'
In the large retirement facility
He had a rusty set of dentures; couldn't chew his food
I'd say he was toothless. But that would be crude
They had one thing in common; they were good as dead
They said, "Eh, whatever." And they both went back to bed

Life in the rest home
Surly folks who lose their minds
Life in the rest home

Are you ditzy, slow-car?

Eager for Lactaid; Hot for BenGay
The chronic low back pain; the gripe of the day
They knew all the right doctors; they took all the right pills
And they vote for whoever pays their medical bills
There were lines on the mirror where her face should be instead
She didn't seem to notice that her pants were on her head
Shout every evening until she was right
He was too deaf to hear her she was too old to bite about it

Life in the rest home
Shirley shakes and Lou is blind
Life in the rest home
Life in the rest home
Never sing; always whine
Life in the rest home

Glowing and burning; calling a nurse
"I think I'm gonna flatline; my lumbago's gettin worse"
She said, "Listen baby, I'm concerned about Irene;
She's been up and down this hallway, ain't complained about a thing."
He said, "Call the doctor. Oh, I think that I have gas."
"The doctor say he's golfing. But he'll gladly bill your ass."
He went rushing to the bathroom, messed around and got lost
He didn't care he just made pie and wandered off and it was

Life in the rest home
Surly folks who lose their minds
Life in the rest home

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Oooh, that was cruel - but beautifully executed
Jeff Reuben - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent work as usual.
Billy Florio - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Wild Man - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
I like when you rhyme like the original song. Its really your strong suit, for that I would give this one a 6, this is as good as "Black & Cheyanne".
Meriadoc - June 07, 2003 - Report this comment
May a thousand AARP card carriers beat you senseless with canes and gum you to death.... Bad bad Claude! ;-D
Claude Prez - June 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I have shamed us all....You know, seniors are a vital, vibrant part of any community. Their life experience and wisdom enrich us all. I know seniors who are inspired--and inspiring! Thank you for the comments. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a random elderly citizen and beg for absolution.
Ol' John Brown - June 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Shame shame, but I still 'bout busted a gut laughin'! Great one!
John Jenkins - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Growing old certainly beats the alternative - and it helps to laugh about it - well done.
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Best Parody of Feb-July 2003
Sweet Indigo - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, that was great! Good job, scans wonderfully and great humour. :)
mac - February 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious. Very well done.
MarthaDTox - February 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Wonderful stuff

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