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Song Parodies -> "Paul's True Value Hardware"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Paul's True Value Hardware"

Parody Written by:

Chris Quimby

The Lyrics

This is a parody of Hotel California inspired by the local hardware store in the town where I live, Paul's True Value Hardware.http://www.brooksmaine.com/paulstruevaluehardware/
Out on Purpule Heart Highway,
Cool wind in my hair,
I had a problem with the plumbing at my house,
But I didn't know where.

I ate a super burrito,
Sat down on the throne.
I pulled the lever on the back of my toilet
And water leaked out of my phone.

Water rushed down my hallway,
Dried up my whole well
And I was thinking to myself,
"This little toilet's beginning to smell!"

So I lit up a candle,
In the bathroom and prayed.
There were nagging voices in my head,
I thought I heard them say,

"Welcome to Paul's True Value Hardware.
Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.
There's great selection at Paul's True Value Hardware.
Any time of year, you can find it here."

They got them long, kink-free hoses.
She got them rhododendrons.
They got a lot of screws and nuts and bolts
Seperated in bins.

They got them baggies with pencils
To record what you get.
Some never remember.
Some never forget.

So I called for assistance
To find a part matching mine (and Paul said)
"We haven't that model here since
1969!"

And still my plumbing is grumbling
From far away.
It wakes me up in the middle of the night
Just to hear it say,

"Welcome to Paul's True Value Hardware.
Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.
There's great selection at Paul's True Value Hardware.
What a nice surprise, lots of real good buys..."

Sale signs on the ceiling
Indicating the price. (someone said)
"We are all just prisoners here
Looking for a device."

You have not 'cause you ask not
Is what the Bible says,
But how in Sam Hill am I supposed to ask
When I don't know what it is?

Last thing I remember
I was running for the door.
I gave up looking for the part I need,
I couldn't take it anymore.

"Relax", said Paul Muir.
"I found the part that you seek.
You can buy as many as you like,
But it just won't stop your leak!"

"Welcome to Paul's True Value Hardware.
Such a lovely place, such a lovely face.
There's great selection at Paul's True Value Hardware.
Any time of year, you can find it here."
The recorded version of this song can be downloaded at http://www.pointofq.com/html/media.html

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paul Robinson - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
You did a real nice job here, Chris, this is not an easy song to pace but this reads real well and can be sung well, too. The story-lines runs through nicely to the end. 5's ~ ~ ~
Patrick Yoness - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, good job. I think you deserved more votes and comments than this, I guess it was a slow day.
Dominic L. - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job, I wish more than just Red Ant would comment my songs.. *ahem*.. This was a great parody, and you had excellent rhyming compared to the original. Nice job. 555
Red Ant - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't access your recording atm, so I'll guess it works well as I got hung up on some of the lines here, but 5s all the same.
jango - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
This was hysterical, Chris! Maybe I'll sing it in the shower.

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