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Song Parodies -> "Breast Or Bottle?"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Breast Or Bottle?"

Parody Written by:

Lee O. Jay

The Lyrics

I'm trying to work on this 'rhyming to the OS' thing...
Breast or bottle?
I'm not quite sure, but my sense is
The way moms dispense is not from cows
Nor from a carton,
But from a mound fit for squeezin'
Once baby starts teethin', he can
Make mom go 'ow!'

When it flows, a teat supplies such joy, it beats TV with cable
A mother's best of parts is always her 'chest set'
When her teat's in need of binding, she says Playtex is her label
But she takes it off so baby's needs are met

Breast or bottle?
To satisfy baby's hunger
Mom won't be outdone, her pride's in her cones
She needs 'em, she needs 'em,
And while her baby is rockin',
Her knockers are knockin' and they're
holdin' their own

If your teats are old and they're past their prime
Use bottled milk so your son don't whine
(It's hard to tell the difference anyway)
When choosin' how to feed him, though,
It's a bummer when your boob is no buffet

Breast or bottle? It's very often contended
They're equally splendid - no need for debate
I'm not campaignin', for it's a labor of love true
But either way he'll think well of you
Just don't make him wait.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweet Indigo - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant... Rather poetic :D
Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I think you've got this "rhyming with the OS" thing down pretty well! 555
Arwen - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't know, Leo...the least you could have done was ask me repeatedly for help. I feel a little slighted...; ) Too bad you did a great job so I can't even knock you for your insensitivity. Bastard.
Leo... I mean Lee O. Jay - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone. Funny, I'd been trying to make the Breast or Bottle idea work on and off for months, and not until I decided to try rhyming with each line of the OS did it come together...
Rick C - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Udderly great job, Leo! 5's
Red Ant - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
fives for Lee o........
Rex - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody was a real t(r)eat.
Johnny D - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen, if Leo asks you for help on another parody on the same topic as this one, and you help him knock-off some delicious lines ... can I watch? ;-) 5's, Leo!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Your rhyming worked a teat.
Stuart McArthur - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
accomplished, and masterful, and what Kristof said - 555
Lee O. - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Aw, thanks guys -- you're the breast!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I can't believe I missed Red Ant's comment. I change my comment to 'reading this parody has filled my mind with happy mammaries.'
Catch 23 - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment of the day. Great stuff!! 555
Michael Pacholek - July 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't know how I missed this one, but it's a hoot. "My mother never breast-fed me. She said she only liked me as a friend." -- Rodney Dangerfield.

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