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Song Parodies -> "Ryan Spine"

Original Song Title:

"Lyin' Eyes"

Original Performer:

Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Ryan Spine"

Parody Written by:

'n Old Dump Rat

The Lyrics

Pretty boy at first seems kinda nervy
But behind passive-aggressive smiles
You will find the antithesis of surly
On the spectrum this guy's way below "mild"

Pasty white with a torso that's bone-free
Fa├žade that's reeking of "Wisconsin nice"
If you're a crook he will be your crony
Serving as a stooge has made him pay a price

So he informs us that from Congress he's leaving
To spend more time with family around
I wonder if his BS he's believing
It's really cuz no building blocks are found

You can't find a Ryan spine
Yet somehow he stays aligned
So what keeps his back in line?
There ain't no way to find a Ryan spine

Nearly all in D.C. town are grating
Their crimes make even hardcore mobsters reel
He pimps for the fake "America Great" thing
He is a hack whose back is lacking in steel

After causing much harm he'll be untethered
And go back to his Ayn Rand book pile
Ironically Rand wrote that you give in never
But Ryan's had no backbone for a while

You can't find a Ryan spine
Yet somehow he ain't supine
So what keeps his back aligned?
There ain't no way to find a Ryan spine

In the dorsal realm he's not a strong one
The term "jellyfish" is rightly applied
A blubb'ring and frightened spine-free wrong one
More timid than the orange guy who cried

He claims to be a doer but he's lazy
He's just a lackey, hack, stooge, mooch and tool
Not half as sturdy as a wilted daisy
After he's gone will Nancy again rule?

At least she has got a spinal arrangement
That includes the whole line of vertebrae
And she don't grovel before the base derangement
Of a party that's gone for certain cray.

You can't find a Ryan spine
Yet he looks straight as a pine
So what keeps his back aligned?
There ain't no way to find a Ryan spine
There ain't no way that Ryan's got a spine
Nothing! You can't find a Ryan spine

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

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