Hotel Al Qaeda (to the obvious tune of Hotel California)

On a dark Afghan highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of guerrillas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw an F5 in flight
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
Radio in the doorway, I heard that World Trade fell
And I was thinking to myself this could be Heaven or this could be Hell
So I lit up a candle, and decided to stay
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Al Qaeda
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely race
Plenty of room at the Hotel Al Qaeda
Any time of year, you're in danger here

The cloth on their heads are twisted, I guess they're all Talibans
They know a lot of crazy Afghan boys, that they call friends
As they prayed in the courtyard, Bush launched an attack
Some of them ran for cover, some of them just fell flat

So I called up the Captain
"Please get Bush on the line"
He said, "We haven't had that connection here since last 'eleven-nine' "
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel Al Qaeda
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely race
Roughin' it out at the Hotel Al Qaeda
What a nice surprise, its Bush in disguise!

Cameras from the ceilings
Bathtubs filled with ice
Someone said, "We are all just prisoners here, of Osama's device"
And in the master's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They fed Bush with a silly lie
When they claimed they wanted peace!

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax" said the Afghan
"We are programmed to receive,
You can check out anytime you like,
But first, Rest in Peace!