"Sylvia’s Number"

Sylvia’s number … it’s still very busy,
near dizzy from dialing I’ve grown.
Sylvia’s number I will keep on trying
until I get through on the phone.
Sylvia’s number -- I will be unhappy
’til I hear her call handler’s drone,

and the operator says “That’s 20 bucks, Sir, for the first five minutes.”
This phone sex is slavery! But I gotta talk to her
I give my card number and smile …
it feels so unsavory, I just cannot tell her that I …

Sylvia mutters, “Hey, silly, get crackin’,
I don’t wanna wait here all day.”
Sylvia mutters, “Hey silly, quit tarryin’,
Just tell what you want me to say.”
Sylvia mutters “Hey, silly, say somethin’,
don’t call me if you’ve feet of clay!”

Then the operator says “That’s 20 bucks, Sir, for the next five minutes.”
This phone sex is knavery! But I wanna talk some more
I give my card number and smile,
and, voice now unwavery, I start to tell her that I …

Sylvia stutters “You’ve thrilled’me! I’m worryin’
I’ll never feel this again.”
Sylvia stutters “You thrilled me, young fella –
more thrilling than pulling a train.”
Sylvia’s number I’ve got -- she’ll be callin’
for me, I won’t call her again …

’cause the operator says “Won’t need any bucks, Sir -- for the next five minutes
of phone sex, she’ll waive her fee, just hot-talk her some more.”
I wallet my Visa and smile,
Now Sylvia’s cravin’ me, just wants to tell me that she …

Can’t tell me good-bye.

Begs she:
“Don’t tell me good-bye!”

(Fade out)