Song Parodies -> Under Covers At The Nursing Home

Original Song Title:	"The Cover Of The Rolling Stone"
Original Performer:	Dr. Hook And The Medicine Show

Parody Song Title:	"Under Covers At The Nursing Home"
Parody Written by:	Dee Range

It's ironic that the human species spends the first two and the last few years of life incontinent. This parody tries to put some humor into how we all age miserably, it is NOT trying to make fun of people in nursing homes. My grandmother spent the last twenty three years of her life in a nursing home, which is where I got the inspiration for this song

I'm an old bald shaker
With a new pace-maker
I use Depends every time I go
I look for some beauty but to tell you the truth
I do better at the dog shows
We look green in the gills
Already reading our wills
But what we still dread the most
Is the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home

Chorus

Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(Doh) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(No) You won't see no smiling face
Under covers at the nursing home

I know some creaky old ladies
Using Rogaine daily
And they void right in their jeans
I'm just a poor old no-hair fattie
Starvin' on this cuisine
Now we're all resigned
'Bout our behinds
Our behinds are ready to blow
It's the stink that'll get ya
When you loose your sphincter
Under covers at the nursing home

Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my bladder-better jump out
(Row) Cause if I don't I'll drown-get a pump out
(No) You won't see my smilin' face
Under covers at the nursing home

We've got a lot of brittle
Ice age blue haired poopers
Who come up to me and say
"You want a piece of old Cindy or Lulu
There'll never be a better day"
They got all the teeth
That money can buy
But at night they're soakin' all alone
I think I'll do both witches
Soon as I change my britches
I'm the lover at the nursing home

Nursing Home!
Damn there goes my sphincter-what a bummer
(DOH) Gotta buy more diapers-call a plumber
(Yo) Hope tonight is a drier place
Under covers at the nursing home

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Paul Robinson - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

Dee - Sad, but funny and too-often true. 5's. In a similar vein you might like my "49 Geezers", although you may be too young to know the original Crosby, Stills, Nash song from 1969, "49 Bye-Byes"...

John Barry - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

That's me in a couple of years. Gonna vote while I still remember how.

alvin rhodes - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

a masterpiece...funniest one i've read today

Rick D - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

I had a job that occasion took my work into those places. I learned to check with the nurses on the condition of the resident before I approached them. one time, I walked in on a naked 85-year old woman. I told the nurse, and she said, "Where's your sense of adventure?" I told her Indiana Jones didn't have THAT much sense of adventure.

Know 1 can hear you dream - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

I don�t wanna go... ... ... that way! And therefore it is my goal to die by being shot, at age 90+, by a guy, any guy, sub-25, who�s jealous because I have stolen his girlfriend. (That�ll probably have to be guy with an inflatable girlfriend, but anyway). ;-)

Dee Range - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

Paul, John, alvin, Rick, and KI, thank you very much for the kind comments

Guy - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

This was way too funny but also way too true. Just how you go in one of these places probably just "depends".

Johnny D - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

Awww.... Poignant, yet witty!

Dee Range - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment

Guy and J.D., thanks

Kristof Robertson - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment

I don't wanna laugh...but I can't help myself...555

Dee Range - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Kristof, thanks

mac - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment

Funny but depressing knowing that this fate await me too. Come on high tech medicine! Put an end to the misery of old age before I get there.

Dee Range - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment

mac, thanks

Arwen - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment

I love Love LOVE this, Dee!!! Hilarious! 5s...=)

Dee Range - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment

Arwen, thank you very much

Bob Gomez - August 14, 2004 - Report this comment

An excellent addition to the nursing home genre! Congratulations on a song well-conceived and well-executed. d;:^)

Dee Range - August 14, 2004 - Report this comment

Bob, thank you

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Song Parodies -> Under Covers At The Nursing Home

"The Cover Of The Rolling Stone"

Dr. Hook And The Medicine Show

"Under Covers At The Nursing Home"

Dee Range

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