Well, I’m a children’s writer
And I couldn’t be brighter
And my initials are not J. K
I’ve already published a novel
And another two are on the way
I could be the girl of the literary world
But I’ll never be well known
Cuz I can’t get ‘em hooked, til I get my book
In the window of Waterstones

Waterstones
One day I’ll sure I’m gonna do it
Waterstones
When I have the Sunday Times review it
Waterstones
Gonna sell a million books
If my work is stocked in Waterstones

They were meant to cover my book launch
But the news team left me cold
Amazon even stocked me
But only a dozen copies ever got sold
The Book Guild really helped me so I guess it’s ungrateful to moan
But it isn’t swell, when the likes of Chantelle
Get stocked and sold in Waterstones

Waterstones
One day I’ll sure I’m gonna do it
Waterstones
When I have the Sunday Times review it
Waterstones
Gonna sell a million books
If my work is stocked in Waterstones

Well, its got merfork, trolls and faeries
And a strange old guy called Jim
Its got dank and creepy grottos
Where things turn rather grim
It’s an epic fantasy story with a pagan undertone
But that don’t matter, cos it’s all just chatter
Till I get it into Waterstones

Waterstones
That’s where I want to park it
Waterstones
They have a huge slice of the market
Waterstones
Gotta prove to them I’m worth
Shop space in Waterstones