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Song Parodies -> "25 Parodies-Christmas: 25. Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year"

Original Song Title:

"Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer"

Original Performer:

Dr. Elmo

Parody Song Title:

"25 Parodies-Christmas: 25. Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year"

Parody Written by:

Jonathan

The Lyrics

in the last installment of my "25 Parodies Of Christmas," a man, tired of the hustle & bustle of busy stores, resolves to do his Christmas Shopping online, the following year. when the time comes, will the carelessness of the mail cost him big time? or wind up giving him an unexpectd gift? please enjoy!
OS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgIwLeASnkw
Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year
can't take one more hectic Christmas Eve
so, if I am to be this fam's Santa
better make your wishlists, give them to me

Aunt Jo wants a chocolate yule log
Little Jimmy wants fake snow
and Rod wants tapes, for masturbation...
so, to that seedy online store, I will go...

a book full of jokes, so corny
is the gift of Uncle Frank
and a 10-pound tub of porkskins!
for my big ol' snack-food lovin' Uncle Hank!

Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year
for some presents, that might make me heave!
oh sure, some of the requests are normal
but then, some others, I just can't believe!

some bizarre cologne, for Grandpa
meant to have a smoky smell
Cousin Abner wants a football
but I'm sure some UNO cards would work as well...

I'm a little shocked by Grandma...
activity, she don't lack!
she asked for 12 packs of condoms
Trojan brand, and extra large, and color black!
(color black?!)

Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year
speedy-ship for gifts by Christmas Eve!
I can't say I understand some choices...
but, I'm gonna start early, I believe...

now, a year has just flown past us
guess FedEx don't give a fig... (sigh)
'cause it's The Night Before Christmas
and the empty space beneath our tree's so big

though, as part of some weird mix-up
something we'll keep, for ourselves!
a brand spankin' new Toshiba!
4K TV, much too big for any shelf!

Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year
unexpected fun, on Christmas Eve
it was all a part of some big mix-up
but man, this gift is not to be believed!

Thank You, Mailman!
Gonna Shop The Web For Christmas, Next Year
online shopping made our Christmas Eve!
Holy Cow! look at the resolution...
we've found a new tradition, I believe...

Merry Christmas!
Whew! that sure was fun! I hope you all had as much fun reading these parodies, as I did writing them! it's been a blast! and now, a little breather. then, some requested parodies, and my own "special" project for 2018, to celebrate my 5 years back as a parody writer!
thanks for reading and Merry Christmas!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 22, 2017 - Report this comment
I give to the homeless in my area. Brought them some food, clothes, blankets. I asked them what they wanted for Xmas. You know what? They honestly told me: cigs, whiskey, and opioids!!! No online shopping for them! 555!
Jonathan - December 22, 2017 - Report this comment
^ Thanks, Mate!

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