-> "All my Witnesses Lie"
Original Song Title:
"American Pie" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"All my Witnesses Lie"
Parody Written by:
A long, long time ago ...
I can still remember
How they'd swoon around the Jackson Five.
And though I had chance after chance
I couldn't top that Moonwalk dance
So I formed a plan -- disgusting, base and vile.
The thought of it set me aquiver
All those subpoena's to deliver.
Don't want them if they're truthful
Just make sure they are youthful.
I laid intelligence aside when I
Changed it for that hot air ride
But something touched me deep inside
The day -- my witnesses -- lied.
So my my though my case doesn't fly
I'm the Forest Gump of lawyers
Think I'll give it a try.
The jury won't know it's merely arrogant pride
And they won't know my witnesses lied
They won't see my devious side.
He'd just wear a single glove
And he'd talk about those kids he loved
And I really hate him so.
Now his fame it came from rock and roll
It grated on my Country soul
And I knew that all those llamas had to go.
And I saw those fans in love with him
They would always wear those "Michael" pins
They'd scream and shout his name
I'm so jealous of all his fame.
But now Michael he's run out of luck
I don't care if you all think I suck
I'll drag his name right thru the muck
You'll see -- when my witnesses lie.
I started singing
My my though this case doesn't fly
Still that welfare cheating momma
Shares my devious side
She'll talk about waxes and those carnival rides
But she tells it all with tears in her eyes
She shows her emotional side.
Now for ten years all my hatred's grown
And I'm quite obsessed with "Home Alone"
I just won't let McCauley be.
When he finally came and took the stand
I said -- please try to understand
You slept through --- all that groping, don't you see?
And though kiddie porn could not be found
I still had that "Boy Book" around.
I don't care if it's art.
Cause the juries not that smart.
And I thought that it was pretty great
They let me use eleven oh eight
I think I'll laugh at MJ's fate.
Because -- all my witnesses lied.
We were singing
My my put that timeline aside.
We don't care if he was absent
That's a lame alibi
And now we contend he licked them while in the sky
And the alcohol was in great supply
The coke cans they were just a disguise.
Helter skelter in a summer swelter
Perhaps I need a fallout shelter.
My reputations falling fast.
I don't care if I am outclassed
I swear MJ will feel my wrath
When the jury hears about his "sordid past."
Now you say I'm crazy as a loon
But I know you'll see it my way soon.
He never should have said
I have young boys in my bed.
And when Bashir's work came to light
It truly was a happy sight
The editing's a real delight
Even there all my witnesses lie.
We started singing
My my maybe MJ will cry
Watch this tape and you will see
He's quite a perverted guy
It just goes to show there's things that money won't buy
But I swear it will make witnesses lie
Look and see what money can buy.
Oh and there we were all in one place
With Diane Diamond and Nancy Grace
We got to listen to their spin.
So come on lets be nimble, lets be quick
Those not guilties make me really sick
Cause they are really MJ's only friends.
Oh and as they watched me on the stage
Their hands were clenched in fists of rage.
They all can go to Hell
He is guilty I can tell.
Then the brother told us of the night
He climbed the stairs without a light
Don't bother me about his height
Cause it's true all my witnesses lie.
He was singing
My my you know boys never lie
See the smile that I am flashing
It's like warm apple pie.
Momma told me I saw it and I know she don't lie
So I'll tell this til the day that I die.
And I don't care that you say it don't fly.
Then when Zonen's face turned blue
I asked him for the verdict news.
He hung his head and turned away.
I busted through the Courtroom door
In hopes they'd let me lie once more
But the baliff said that I should go away.
And in the halls I heard them sing
The King of Pop would still be King.
The jury had just spoken
TM's contract stood unbroken.
And then the thing I feared the most
On message boards they began to post.
They say that my career is toast.
They'll prove all my witnesses lie.
And they were singing
My my Sneddon's case didn't fly
The jury saw right through him
He's an odious guy.
We'll contact the Bar and they will make him comply
And "misconduct" will become our war cry
His bail will be set very high.
Yes they were singing
My my how your witnesses lie
The entire world now knows you're a detestable guy.
In prison you'll learn about your femine side
When you find that Bubba won't be denied.
He will take away all your pride.
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