-> "Budget Surplus"
Original Song Title:
"American Pie"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Budget Surplus"
The Lyrics
About four years ago
I can still remember how
We thought red ink had gone away.
With Alan Greenspan on our side
We hoped the business cycle died
And prosperity would forever stay.
But nine-eleven brought us trouble
And burst our economic bubble.
Bush's war on terror
Might not have been in error,
But spending was not cut one bit
And when tax revenue took a hit,
We have what gives taxpayers fits:
A rising deficit.
So...
(Chorus)
Bye, bye to the budget surplus
Hoped that Congress would show progress, but there's no impetus
Washington, D.C. has a spending virus
And it never seems to benefit us,
Never seems to benefit us.
Should we fight the War on Drugs
And treat pot smokers like violent thugs
When the Drug Czar gives them jail?
Well I know that pot is bad for you,
Like Clinton said in ninety-two,
It's a substance that you should not inhale.
But do you believe the DEA
Will make drug traffic go away?
Their actions can't be wise
Since they just make drug profits rise.
They know that spending twenty billion bucks
Doesn't stop drug growers and their dealer schmucks.
It only brings us more bad luck:
A rising deficit.
It makes me sing
(Chorus)
Now, all those fools on Capitol Hill
Support each excessive spending bill.
And it's worse than it used to be
Because Congress approves more kinds of pork
Thinking that taxes come from the stork,
Not hard-working folks like you and me.
They study the Hawaiian turtle,
Find out if Wisconsin's fertile,
Learn where sea otters mate,
And how plants propagate,
And then fund the Cowgirl Hall of Fame.
Yes, both parties deserve the blame
For all their spending, which became
A rising deficit!
We were singin'
(Chorus)
Hocus-pocus, watch the Congress soak us.
A big pay raise is their major focus.
Eight months work, four months recess,
So we're not being crass
To ask our legislators to pass
A spending bill that doesn't have excess.
Now Congress approves its own pay raise
For working, each week, at least two days.
So what can voters choose
Since incumbents so rarely lose?
We tried to get the increase repealed,
But Congress people would not yield
Even after watchdogs revealed
A rising deficit.
We kept singing'
(Chorus)
Oh, and in each Congressional race,
Big farmers tried to make their case
That they need larger subsidies.
So come on, Old MacDonald, with your farm,
Go twist your Senator's right arm,
Your lobby can bring him to his knees.
And as farm grants reached a new frontier
Of eighteen billion bucks per year,
No cost cutter stepped out
To break that lobby's clout.
And as Big Tobacco got subsidized,
Not even Al Gore was surprised.
But taxpayers sadly recognized
A rising deficit!
They were singin'
(Chorus)
Forecasters shared their gloomy views;
When the CBO gave the bad news,
Which wasn't what I hoped to hear.
I looked up to the Capitol
Which had become a big black hole
Into which tax dollars simply disappear.
And in D.C., no one was shocked
That children's futures were getting hocked.
'Cause as the votes were roll called,
The national debt snowballed.
And three men I hoped would come through:
Hastert, Frist, and George W
Led us to fiscal Waterloo:
A rising deficit!
And they were singing:
(Modified chorus, 2x)
Bye, bye to the budget surplus
All our spending's never ending, but please don't make a fuss.
We're good ole boys who caught the spending virus,
And we hope you're gonna reelect us,
Hope you're gonna to reelect us.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.2 | |
How Funny: | 4.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.2 | |
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Total Votes: | 6 |
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