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Song Parodies -> "Jed Clampett It's Time"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Jed Clampett It's Time"

Parody Written by:

Ol' John Brown

The Lyrics

One of the greatest complements to a favorite song or old TV show for a twisted mind to pay, is a parody . . .
A long, long time ago...
In the hills so far away
There lived a man, his name was Jed.
And he knew if he had a chance
That he could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd come back n' stay a while.

But the rich life made him shiver
With all the oil that he discovered.
Hound dog on the doorstep;
He couldn't move one more step.

I can't remember if i cried
When i heard that his, ol' houd dog died,
But something touched him deep inside
The day, that Ol' Duke, he died.

So bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

Do you have the Sears catalog,
It was in outhouse for so long,
Didn't Granny tell you so?
Do you believe that ol' Jethro,
Can steal your mortal soul,
And can teach you to cypher reeeeeeal slow?

Well, i know that she's in love with him
'cause i saw Miss Jane dancin' in the gym.
She kicked off both her shoes.
Man, i dig those grassy blues.

He was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
Drinkin' Carnation milk in a pickup truck,
But he knew he was out of luck
The day, the old hound dog died.

He started singin',
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

Now for many years they've been reruns
And they've made new movies that were kind of fun,
But that's not how it used to be.
Once Jed sang, for a pickup truck,
In a hat he had, for a century
In a voice that came from Earl and Scruggs,

Oh, and while Earl and Scruggs were, looking down,
Jed sang about, his ol' hound.
The woodstove began to burn;
Ol' Jed was not concerned.
And while the Drysdales were old farts,
A bluegrass quartet was in the park,
And we roasted 'possum in the dark
The day the Ol' Duke, he died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

Uncle Fester in a summer swelter.
Oops, wrong show, better seek some shelter,
Too much 'shine and falling fast.
It sounded just like bluegrass.
Young Jethro tried to make a seedy pass,

But it was just Miss Jane, in a mask.

Now her hair smells of sweet perfume
But Elly May's holdin' a big baboon.
We all got up to leave,
Oh, but Elly made us weak in the knees!
'cause the rope came loose, from, her jeans;
And we all wanted, just a peek.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day, the rope untied?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
Our eyes just wanting, a little taste
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Try to control your candlestick
Cause critters are Elly's only friend.

Oh, and as i watched her pull, up her drawers
My jaw, it dropped, to the floor.
No Hillbilly in the hills
Could describe that certain thrill.
And as passion climbed high into the night
To light my wood-stove pipe,
I saw Granny laughing with delight
The day, that Elly sighed

She was singing,
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

She was a girl who sang the blues
And i asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the general store
Where i'd Jed's music years before,
But the man there said his banjo wouldn't play.

And in the creek: the children screamed,
Dog lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The banjo strings all were broken.
And three men eating toast:
Jed, Milburn, and young Jethro,
They drove a pickup, down the road
The day Ol' Duke, he died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."
"Elly May is pretty darn fine."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, Jed Clampett it's time.
Drive your truck, to The Hills,
For The Hills are not dry.
And them good old boys are drinkin' lots of moonshine
Singin', "Elly May is pretty darn fine."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Claude Prez - June 07, 2003 - Report this comment
This was a good idea with some pretty funny lines. Also, seeing the words "Uncle Fester" makes me laugh. Well done.
Wild Man - June 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm a Ol John roadie, My wife's an Ol John groupie
Granny - June 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeeeed! Come quick, theys a writin' songs about us agin on that derned innernet.
Jed - June 09, 2003 - Report this comment
That's rightly pityful Granny... They oughta just let dead dogs lie.
The Clapmett - June 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Weeeelll dogies!! Rightly powerful good tune there. Brought a laugh to my belly and a tear to my eye ....poor old Duke!
Jethro - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, mom, a song that is better than your yodeling

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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