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Song Parodies -> "My, My, That Heat Index is High"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"My, My, That Heat Index is High"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl

The Lyrics

"Warmly" dedicated to all my fellow citizens of the South and Southwest. As they say, "Mercury loves company"... or something like that.
Long, long time ago
I can still remember
How the summer used to make me smile.
Eagerly, we grabbed the chance
To get out on the lawn and dance
Beneath the water sprinklers for awhile.

But now that I am over forty,
Summer comes and- lordy, lordy-
Barely leave my doorstep
Heat just drains all my pep

I can’t remember very well,
Maybe it was always hot as Hell,
But temperatures just seem to swell
Each year that passes by.

Oh,
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

Did you hear the weatherman
Say that we’d hit 1-0-3 again
All the forecasts told him so
And can you believe the energy
It takes to run this darned A/C
Because we have to turn it down so low

Last year, our grumpy neighbor Tim
Came and sawed off all the shady limbs
Of our big red oak tree
When one fell on his SUV

I was a desperate, wilted, mid-aged schmuck
When I tried to hijack the Good Humor truck
He called the cops, I’m out of luck
Another record high

And I’m singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

Now after ten beers, I’m still dry as bones
I just feel fat and a little stoned
That’s not how it’s s’posed to be.
Thought that Jester Al went to extremes
When he warned about Earth’s core warming
But there might be something to it, seems to me

Oh, and while the glaciers all melt down
The scientists can only frown
But here’s a great idea—
Why don’t they send the water here?
With drought, and temps at boiling marks
They canceled fireworks in the park
‘Cause even just a tiny spark
Could start flames shooting high.

We were singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

Helter Swelter
In this summer smelter
Wish that I had an igloo shelter
But the ice would melt so fast
It would all run out on the grass
Tangle flowers in a muddy mass
Then they’d dry up- like a fossil- in a cast
A few days later, sweet perfume
From hundreds of decaying blooms
Would set noses askew
With its netherworldly pew
Though a breeze might blow across the field,
The noxious fumes would never yield
And all would say, “What is the deal?
Smells like a piggy sty!”

We’d all be singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

So here we are in this place
Just fools for air-conditioned space
With no hope we’ll be cool again
So come on, Jack be nimble! Jack be quick!
Jack Frost, better get on the stick
Come quench this fire, you’ll be our “best-est” friend
The salvia and Texas sage
Are all that survived Vulcan’s rage
The garden looks like hell
And me, I do as well
Yeah, the air stays thick throughout the night
And there is no relief in sight
Heaven seems blind to our plight
Tomorrow—1-0-5.

We’ll all be singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

I’ve got a case of “Summer Blues”
No longer watch the weather news
When it comes on, I turn away
I went down to the Superstore
To buy a fan for the kitchen floor
But the kid there said they sold out yesterday

And in the street the rising steam
From melting asphalt is no dream
Everything is smokin’
And now the A/C’s broken
So lest I should become a ghost,
I think that I will try to post
Myself to the Alaskan coast
And join a native tribe.

And I’ll be singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

Yeah, I’m singin’
My, my, hot enough now to fry
Scrambled eggs out on the sidewalk
Everything’s parched and dry
My clothes are drenched, got beads of sweat in my eye
Maybe this’ll be the way that I die
This could be the way that I die

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   21
 21
 21
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

blackjack21 - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody is smokin' hot and in season, one of the best AP's I've read so far. Liked the "netherworldly pew" line. High temp. today: 555
Patrick - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Outstanding rework of the great Don McLean tune. You blended original lyrics and concepts perfectly. Kansas has always been hot in the summers. Is it really global warming or are we all just feeling it more as we age? I salute anyone who can create a new masterpiece from American Pie. My, my, I don't think that I'll try.
McKludge - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice work. I've been in 98 degrees/95% humidity and I've been in 115 degrees/20% humidity. I'm not sure which is worse.
John Barry - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
You hit the mark. The mark here in the Bay Area hinterlands is projected to hit low 100s.
Andy Primus - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent job on this - especially liked the igloo part
NorCALbunny - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
yes, Sir, it was a hot one yesterday, here in NorCAL, but that is normal for California in the Summer time, Sir ! Don't blame on global warming . . . . just blame it on the Boogie ! !
Old Man Ribber - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh really? I "Blame It On The Bossa Nova." ;D Brilliantly done and worthy of the author (YOU!).
DJ Blaze - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Good job! Things have been pretty hot around where we live. 555 sprinklers needed.
AFW - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Marvelous meandering of a seasonal theme, and extremely good job of tracking the original style..
Mark Scotti - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Marvelous epic of global warming proportions!!!! Abbbbbbsolutly fives!!!
Rex - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful job on this, keep 'em coming!
MrMacphisto - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Good job on a behemoth of an original... 5-5-5
Dr. Oliver Clozoff - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, what an epic parody. Gave it 555 but would have been even better with some more variation on the choruses. Still, EPIC!
Timmy1000 - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well done, Fiddlegirl. Good theme, flows smoothly from verse to verse. I'll give you a temp of 555 for this one.
TJC - July 15, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo both AFW's and DOC's comments here FG! And LOL OMR's sense of humor... Top notch effort on an epic OS...
Fiddlegirl - July 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, all-- Very appreciative of your encouraging comments and glad it was enjoyed. I had fun writing it. It helped to let off a little steam, as it were. (haha, I kill me...) :)
alvin - July 19, 2009 - Report this comment
i can relate....near 100 in L.A. lately
Guy - July 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey Fiddlegirl - These high temps are typical in South Texas this time of year. I've lived in the north and hated the winters - I've lived in the south and hated the summers. You just can't win. I think Hawaii has the best climate I've ever experienced. Too bad the place has been ruined by commercialization. The only thing it seems to still have going for it is the climate.

I agree with Blackjack - this is one of the finer AP writes I've seen. The pace and timing are spot on - the only improvement would have been to vary the choruses. And yes I've written APs with varied choruses - it's a challenge but worth the effort if you truly love writing parody. But this is fine as it stands - well done. High 5's.
Fiddlegirl - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin and Guy! It seems we can all relate to the summer heat... *whew*
Poikilotherm - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
We rather *like* it warm -- we get all sluggish and lazy when it cools off. :) Loved "Jester Al". The "vary chorus" thing's already been said several times; would reply in your defense, Your Honor, that I DK of *anyone* who has attempted this OS on their seventh post here, for which it is outstanding. 555+++

Kudos for including the rep of the end chorus, but teeeeensy nit for the next version: 2nd refrain does not have the echo line at the end. (Only one "This'll be the day that I die"). Naah, not gonna plug my stab at it... you know how to find it, should you care to ('sides, it was plugged today in the appendix of a sheep). Fine slice of Pie, worthy of any veteran, and of the lofty genre itself.
Welcome To The Club! - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment
You've been Unabombed! -- 111'd by an anonymous coward who cites no reasons. The reasons: jealousy, envy, resentment. Which means *you've made it*! Congratts!
Alison Wonderland - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment
@Poikilotherm... Many thanks for v/c. :D
As to the choruses-- Since they weren't varied in the OS, I didn't think to vary them here. Now that I know such variation is not only allowed but encouraged, I will do that with future attempts!

Gosh, you're right about the end line. My attention span has typically waned by that point. Blame it on the Adult AD... Oooh, look! A butterfly! ;)
ADD, SUBTRACT (1 line), and MULTIPLY (laughs) - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Encouraged? It's required for highest props (several apple cases) -- think of it as that many more chances to display ("show off") your creativity and cleverness, and to give us X many more laughs. btw, this writer learned that the hard way, too -- critique from veteran(arian)s (a blonde, blue-eyed soldier). Red Ant wrote a guide for new writers, somewhere on inthe00s. They oughta put it on the submission page with all the other guidelines.

I think ADD is also a requirement here, plus a trace of OCD. I think my doctor once told me that I had ADD, but I wasn't really listening at the time.
Guy - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey Fiddlegirl - I thought about your parody when the mercury peaked at 103 today. Why did you write this - you caused the weather to get and stay hot hot hot. =;-) This is the hottest summer on record for SA. The previous record for days over 100 degrees was set in 1998 with 26 - we are well over 40 days of plus 100 degrees this summer at this point. Usually The Valley and Dallas on north catches the heat in the summer. Not this year.

Anyway - I wrote a parody back last November when it was a lot cooler. It's all about Texas and is entitled "Did Tex Pull Town Names From A Barrel?" OS "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" It's all about the weird named towns that are so abundant in Texas, like Cut and Shoot, Dime Box, Squeezepenny, Ding Dong and others to total 23 place names with links to each. 22 are still working. The link for "Wall" is broken. Wall is a two goat burg a few miles east of San Angelo. You blink and you miss it. Anyway I thought you'd like to check it out and see how many places you recognise in the parody. The line is:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/gordonlightfoot123.shtml

I promise, it won't bore you because it's ALL about Texas,
Guy - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Correction I made a typo - the record in 1998 was 36 days not 26 days.
@ Guy - August 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Holy Smoke! (Literally)... July/August is NOT easy to get through, is it? But I lived through some Wisconsin winters awhile back, too. They were just as long, and about as much "fun". Given the choice, I think I'd still take the great Republic of Texas!

Headin' across the ranch to look at your parody. I've heard of Dime Box and Cut and Shoot... can't wait to see the others you found! :)

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