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Song Parodies -> "Impeachable Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Impeachable Guy"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

In honor of the 10th anniversary of Bill's impeachment coming up on Dec. 19, 1998.
A long time, ten years ago,
I saw Bill, he took a bow,
That Rube he used to make me smile
And I knew if he had the chance
That he would lower down his pants
And Monica would leave him with a smile,
But February made him quiver,
House tried to send him up the river
Senate trial, one more step,
Was he a rake or a schlep?
I can't remember, if with pride,
That he bragged about how she complied,
But Hillary was mortified,
The day, the rube, he lied
So . . .

Lie, lie you impeachable guy
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys were thinking how could you, why?
Singing, this'll be the day that you fry
This'll be the day that you fry.

Did you like her look of love,
And did you set yourself far above
And shout libel at your foe
Now do you believe you're in a hole,
Can rubeness save your aborted poll
And can impeachment cloud your chance to crow
Well, I know that you were charged by Ken,
With perjury, he's not your friend,
You both ticked off the news,
Man, they dig in with those screws
You were a horny, new age broncin' buck
With an intern waiting for a little pluck
But they thought you were out of luck
The day, the rube, he lied
They started singing . . .

Lie, lie you impeachable guy
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys were thinking how could you, why?
Singing, this'll be the day that you fry
This'll be the day that you fry.

Now for ten years, you have always known,
That loss goes past like your poll has shown,
But, that's not how it was, you see,
When the justice rang for the "King" he'd clean,
In a robe he wore to seem pristine,
With a choice to blame Bill's vanity
Oh, and while the "King" was looking down,
The Justice tried to take his crown,
The courtroom was adjourned,
Impeachment, it was spurned,
And while Rehnquist had a look of sparks,
The court let facts stay in the dark,
And we sang purge him as a lark,
The day, the rube, he lied.
We were singing . . .

Lie, lie you impeachable guy
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys were thinking how could you, why?
Singing, this'll be the day that you fry
This'll be the day that you fry.

Helter skelter in a Senate swelter
The gloves flew off in an all out melter
Fate flies by with Paula last,
And Linda, foul, just like trash,
The Senate was in a formal clash,
With the justice on the side as "No's" were cast,
Now the laughing pair was in the room,
The Clintons played a vict'ry tune,
They both got up to dance,
Oh, but their careers could advance,
'Cause the House, they tried to make him yield,
The voting handed down revealed,
His Presidency not repealed,
The day, the rube, he lied.
He was singing . . .

Why, I'm no impeachable guy
She was heavy but my bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys are thinking "What a great guy",
Singing, this'll be the day that I fly
This'll be the day that I fly.

Oh, and there Bill was all blessed in grace,
Hillary in a Senate race,
With no crime left to try again,
So, come on, Bill's a bimbo, Bill's a hick,
He came out clean, oh what a trick,
Inspires with charity, my friend,
And though he botched it on the stage,
Hill's hands were clenched with fits of rage
No career born with smell,
could break that Clinton spell,
And as she blames her guy for this old plight,
She'll fight the old official "Right",
I saw Hilly laughing with delight,
The day, the rube, he lied.
She was singing . . .

Lie, lie you impeachable guy
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys were thinking why don't you cry?
Singing, this'll be my day, a new try
This'll be my day, a new try.

And Hillary, she played her muse,
As she spoke her presidential views,
But Bill just smiled and played away,
He went down to the same old state,
Where he campaigned to decide her fate
But Obama said the rube's games shouldn't play,
And in the streets, the children screamed,
The voters cried, and the pundits dreamed,
But not a word was spoken,
The banks, they all were broken,
And the three men I admire so,
Oh, Larry, Shemp and his brother Moe,
They thought the "Hill" train was no go,
The day, the rube, he lied,
And they were singing . . .

Lie, lie you impeachable guy, (nyuk, nyuk)
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them three ole boys are thinking how 'bout a pie?
In the face'll be the way that we try,
(in the) Face'll be the way that we try.

Lie, lie you impeachable guy
She was heavy but your bevy of women ran dry
Them good ole boys were thinking how could you, why?
Singing, this'll be the day that you fry
This'll be the day that you fry.



Apologies to Curly as he was the the best Stooge, but Shemp fit better.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
A very well written parody, TImmy1K, and for that -- which after all is the point-- gets a trio of 5s even from this ├╝ber liberal who thinks Clinton's essentially personal cimes/lies pale beside the contract on America, "confessed" in '94, but pursued by every GOP admins and admin-wannabe within my personal memory (which extends to and Ike I didn't particularly like). :-)
alvin - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
hilarious...especially liked the heavy / bevy bit
Timmy1000 - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Stan, I'm in your camp- kinda. I do think things were better back then when the big "problems" were simply "a guy and a girl" rather than the many quagmires we are in today. Those issues were just kind of funny rather than life affecting, like the current ones, for most of us. Public figures are just public and of use to those who parody.
Leo Keough - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Way to go, Timmy - you're batting 1000 since you started posting here!
TJC - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Realllllly good stuff here.... mucho skills on display!
John Jenkins - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good stuff, Timmy, particularly the hilarious chorus and the "And we sang purge him as a lark" line.
Mari - December 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha ha ha ha!
Monica Lewinsky - June 13, 2009 - Report this comment
You rhymed smile with smile first paragraph. But it's okay, because it was so true. And you should see what he did with his cigars!
Silver Power - June 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Nah, but seriously, this was a good parody. I gave it 5s. I remember back in 5th grade we were doing a wax museum thing where we had to dress up as a famous person, write facts about on a big piece of posterboard, and stand still on desks in the cafeteria while other classes came to look. I was chosen to do Bill Clinton, [pick out of a bucket], and boy was I shocked when I looked up stuff about him online. But I digress.
Mark Scotti - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
This was sooooo funny, Tim!!! Fives for this marathon of rememberance. Goes well with my recent: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eltonjohn340.shtml
Timmy1000 - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark, yes they do go well together. I did see yours the other day - quite funny - and thought of this from my recent past. Thanks.
Abbott Skelding - June 15, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC: Ding ding ding ding!! We have a winner!! Excellent job!!
Agrimorfee - June 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Well pretty darned good I'd say. You put the story into McLean's meter quite well. I have to fault you in the pacing (as others have I'm sure) with "thinking how could you, why"...the syllables match, but its a witch to sing it/read it to the original.
Timmy1000 - June 17, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Thanks to recent reviewers. Ag - yeah, the singing on this was a little tough to get through. I appreciate the comments and see some excellent songs and greta examples in the ABC competition. Something to look forward to again.
Guy - June 20, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC05I)

HA - you called "Slick Willy" a hick - may be some truth to that since the Clinton team is comprised of two people named "Hill" and "Billy". This one brings me back and what was going on back then seems so trivial now - still a great write but a bit rough in some spots. You did manage to bring something back that most would consider ancient history and made it play well - I will give you that.
Stuart McArthur - June 24, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) ooh, the trouble with parodying a standard that we all know in our sleep, is that if the pacing isn't perfect, the reader is gonna get grumpy - which is a pity Tim because there are so many funny ideas here, and the whole idea itself is quite inspired - the trouble is that with Ampie, near enough isn't good enough, and only a little more technical work could have made this a gem, although it's pretty darned good all the same - 555
bobpiecheese - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5I) A few stumbles in the pacing, but otherwise a good attempt at this monster. Unfortunately I know next to nothing about American politics, so this one basically flew over my head.
Leo Keough - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Already voted 555 above!...This was a monumental effort, just loaded with great political humor, more than offsetting any technical glitches the parody purists may have noticed!!!
Max Power - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
The name is Bill, Bill Clinton
Red Ant - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Great take on Ampie, though from the title I was expecting it to be about Bush, not Clinton. A good retrospective look at the Clinton scandal.
Below Average Dave - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, as well written as this is, um it's kinda outdated now, it was funny, but I guess that ever since hearing "Bimbo No 5" the Bill Clinton jokes takes a lot. The pacing also was a off for me. I applaud you however for completing this one, which in and of itself is a feat. I know I had my own stumbles on this song when I took it on, so I can respect what went into it. . .
Matthias - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
A bit outdated and I'm not a fan of political pieces but I need to at least give you credit for taking on American Pie with a topic like Bill Clinton, that must have been pretty tough to pull off.
Jeff Reuben - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Another of the big 7. Not big on political parodies, but it was well done, and I did enjoy it.
Invisible Boy - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Congratulations on your Ampie parody. It's something I've not yet accomplished.
minor pacing glitches aside, this was a great job.

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