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Song Parodies -> "Big, Brown, Draft Horse Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Big, Brown, Draft Horse Pie"

Parody Written by:

Chris Pollman

The Lyrics

(Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against horses)
Just about yesterday, I can still remember when,
I still had a clean pair of shoes.
And I knew If I rode that horse, I'd probably
get thrown off of the course, and
then would come the bad news.
Though cow crap makes me shiver,
it kinda tastes like hog liver.
The horse pies really are a load.
Soon, they'll dominate the whole road.
I can't remember if fell, because what I landed
in was horse pie from hell.
When I was asked about the stench, I lied,
and said, that the dog, had died.

So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

Did you ever step in a pile, and stand there
and cuss for a while, cause ya needed
to use the garden hose.
Do you believe in crap's domination,
this stuff really is an abomination
and can ya teach me how to let the
whole thing really flow?
Well, I know you have to scoop the stuff,
to say it's all right must be a bluff.
You have to wear army boots, so you don't
get covered in horse "fruits".
I was a lonely, teenage rodeo hand, I'd
seen the most horse crap in the land.
I have to say it tastes pretty bland,
all the big brown draft horse pie.

So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

And then the stable hands cleaned up the poop,
as their hands got veiled in goop. And their
clothes, covered in flies
But while one hand was nearly dead, he didn't
see the horse's butt over his head. Down came
more stool. There was enough there for a pool.
And while the tamers read a book on horse,
I tried to communicate via Morse, because
my mouth was full of pie, the day, the
horse turd dried.


So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

Barnyard, farmyard, we're all eating lard,
the horses crap some more brown shards, right
out the back and falling fast.
And landed foul on the dirt, the cat laying there
was pretty hurt, with the tamers, by the fencepost,
with their friend Kurt.
Oh, the horse lot smell, sure wasn't perfume,
and the horses farted to a constipated tune,
We all got up to leave, but our job here we couldn't
believe, cause when we tried to hit the showers, the
horses all ate some flowers, and threatened to
convert them, into you know what.


So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

And there we were, all in the lot,
the horse ready for it's tetanus shot,
with no time left to clean the poop.
Oh, come on, horse be thoughtful, horse be
kind, that stuff you drip really blows my mind,
cause, it smells like a bag of...well, yeah...
And as I watched it in the ring, my nostrils
were pinched to stop the sting. No horse
with any taste, would dump off so much waste.
And as the smell climbed high into the sky,
to try and light the gas line on fire,
I saw the draft horse whinnying with delight,
the night, the horse pie dried.

So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

I met a girl who owned a horse, and what
I did next needed extra force, I told her
that horses smelled like dung.
Then I went down the local ranch, to sell
my horse, out into a different branch.
But the man there, said the horses, I couldn't
sell. And in the streets, more poop turned up,
there was enough to fill a thousand cups.
Not a word was said, mostly cause we were all dead.
And in my grave, as I decay, covered in horse poop
from that day, Please remember what I say, won't you
clean, the crap, from the road.


So, why, why, the big brown draft horse pie?
I'm covered in this stuff, from my toe to my eye.
Them draft horses really attract the flies,
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.
Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

We were singing, Why, why, the big
brown draft horse pie? I'm covered in this stuff,
from my toe to my eye. Them draft horses really
attract the flies, Neighing as the stool falls
from behind. Neighing as the stool falls from behind.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.2
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 4
 4
 
 2   2
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 2
 
 5   2
 3
 2
 

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