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Song Parodies -> "Polish Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don MacLean

Parody Song Title:

"Polish Guy"

Parody Written by:

Stella Baker

The Lyrics

monopoly store is a liquor store
A long long time ago
I can still remember how our shops had nothing inside
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could even learn to dance
And maybe even find a beautiful blonde slim bride
Each January we would shiver
Scared of what the papers delivered
Bad news for our future
Our politicians sold us to the West
I can't remember if I cried
When I learned that Edward Gierek died
But something burned me deep inside
The day that communism died

But I know why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault
A house I wanted to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

Can you explain why we love
The Eighties so much, were these years so good?
Because Pope John Paul told us so?
Do you believe we sold our soul
Can Andrzej Lepper show us the way to go?
Life like a cartoon by Andrzej Mleczko
Well I remember it was Solidarity
Who finally set our nation free
But Lech Walesa was such a jerk
Throwing so many Poles out of work
But we were guided to the European Union dream
By Kwasniewski and the SLD
But our bright future we could no longer see
The day our factories closed

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

Now for fifteen years we have tried our best
To sell off everything to the West
But it ain't turned out like we wanted it to be
When the youngsters go to England to find their dreams
Looking for building sites and houses to clean
In the hope of five pounds an hour
And those left behind in Polish towns
Are left to drink and hang around
We never heard the West say
We'll take all your work away
We were trying to forget the lessons of Marx
Too busy building Tescos and Wal Marts
And Polish society was torn apart
The day the factories closed

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

Racist, fascist, homophobic
Our government views each time they speak
Our national shame we want to cry
The West deluged us with luxury and class
Then they dumped us on our ass
Making us cheap labour for London and Dublin
We forgot about Pilsudski's dream
We still don't know who to blame
The West invited us to the dance
Then took away our chance
Will we Poles ever learn
To make Poland great again?
And nobody understood our pain
The day our factories closed

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

And now we are all over the place
Our generations stuck in the European rat race
And no chance to go home again
So come on brothers Kaczynski
Give our country some hope to see
Leaving us with God and the Church
As our only friends
When I see Roman Giertych take the political stage
I feel such anger, such outrage
There is no magic spell
To take us out this hell
And it will take us years and years
To overcome our problems and our fears
To pay off all the West's arrears
After our factories closed

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

Back home I met a girl selling cheap booze
I asked her for some happy news
But she said they took her shop away
I went to the monopoly* store
Where I saw the men drinking years before
But the men were collecting empty beer cans to get some pay
On the estates no one walked
Only about their poverty they talked
Every dream they ever had now lies broken
They no longer believe the lies now spoken
And the three old men who always drank outside
Had all died, one from suicide
So many tears have been cried
Since when our factories closed

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

I know exactly why I'm a Polish guy
Swapped my Polski Fiat for a Renault a house I want to buy
The older men were drinking vodka from rye
Saying we are stuck here until the day we die
Drinking outside the shop till I die

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   2
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stanley Kowalski - July 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Stelllllll-lah! STELLLLL-LAH!!!!! This probably took you hours to write...but it tain't funny....nor even amusing. I'd redo it, making reference to common Polish jokes in each verse.....
Dylan Baranski - July 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Gee, I'm sorry, but this parody was messier than a bucket of LFC (Lard Fried Chicken) chicken. Not only that, it was dreadfully unfunny & another one of those bad American Pie parodies that I've seen in recent times. If you keep this up, Mike & I will probably form some sort of Polish-American coalition against this sort of stuff. In fact, I'd rather read a Bush-bashing parody than this sad sack.
Jason - July 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Dylan, don't you think you was a bit harsh? You may not agree with the topic but it seems that the author did make an effort. I am not going to vote, but if I did, maybe 423
Michael Pacholek - July 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Stella, I appreciate your anti-Bush parodies, but not another one like this. After all, you never expect the Polish Inquisition.
Mike Likatitski - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Nobody expects the Polish Inquisition
Dylan Baranski - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael & Mike are right. All that stuff about China being a dominant force in the 21st century is bunk. It's Poland y'all should be paying attention to.

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