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Song Parodies -> "Five To Nine"

Original Song Title:

"Nine To Five"

Original Performer:

Dolly Parton

Parody Song Title:

"Five To Nine"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Cleanin' up the grill, they call this place a kitchen
Other jerks..are moanin' and bitchin'
Everyone moves like buzzin' bees in line..
It's dinner hour and the coffee's pumpin'
Thru the drive-thru..long lines of cars comin'
Hate what I do, on the job from five to nine..

Five To Nine..hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Got to work that line,,couple hours after school's out..
Headin' home by nine, then is when they let us fools out

My lame big dream, just a burger on the platter
Your order's up, work and cut the chatter
Makin' cash and savin' for a college fund..
Sometimes it clicks..but generally sucks
Takin' too much crap for minimum bucks
But I'm doin' a job every day, that's gotta' be done

Five To Nine..wash up with the lotion
No chance for advance..or such thing as a promotion
Workin' hands, not head..be on time and do the duty
Bite tongue, get red...when the boss pinches booty

Five To Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after school's out
Headed home by nine..that is when they let us fools out

Five To Nine, keep smilin' at the people
Even tho' you know, get off on it, that old creep'll
It's a poor girl's life, just no way to rise above it
But one of these days, gonna' tell the boss to shove it..

Five to Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive...gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after schools out
Headed home by nine..then is when they let us fools out..

(Oooohhhhhhhh...Whyyy Meeeee?)




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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thing is, these lyrics are more than credible for a "real" C&W song. 555 :-)
Johnny D - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought this parody WAS a "real" C&W song!! ;-)
McKludge - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Yep, that was me 22 years ago. I actually liked working there, but the pay sucked. Back then, I was making $3.35/hr, a whopping $0.10 over minimum wage. Now I'm up to $5.55/hr.
alvin - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
this was great.....i can SO relate to this....i worked there 36 years ago....yipes.....i was 3...heh heh heh....1.65 an hour and no free food
Harry - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Ha ha ha! Good stuff AFW! yup I worked in a "grease pit" 21 years ago. The Burger Thing. or Booger King or Stripper King--yup, can't beat those 3.35/hour gigs, slipping in dripping fry grease and cracking your skull.
AFW - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stan, Johnny D, McKludge, alvin, and Harry....never realized so many parodists here, would be Mickey D alumni...Never worked there myself, but family members have..and wrote it only, from the perspective of an occasional drive thru customer, and of what I imagine working there might be like
MrMacphisto - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Must be similar to working with Larry Craig... 5-5-5
littleCupCakes - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for this MacTale.
Peregrin - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent AFW :) Gave me a good laugh, esp that naughty ol' Ronald!
AFW - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, MrMac..good LC line..and thanks LCC..and Peregrin
Guy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Workin' five to nine at Mickey D's beats doin' five to nine as a guest of the state. I never worked at a fast food place either in my youth. I did work as a busboy for a time at a regular sit down restaurant. I lived very close to a public golf course and during the summers I'd go to the course on Sunday nights and would go into the four water dams they had on the course and fish out around 500 hundred golf balls. I knew the guy who watered the fairways at night and he would look the other way for one dozen of mint condition Titleist or Top Flight brand golf balls. I'd then sell the rest of the balls on a tee that was out of view of the club house on the following Sunday morning, usually making around $200.00 selling the same balls back to the same guys who lost them to begin with. The owner of the course did not like me selling golf balls on his course because I was costing him business selling the same balls for $1.25 that I'd let go for around 50 - 75 cents. Of course my father was an avid golfer and I had to give him his tribute as well. $200.00 for a five to nine shift in the late 60s was prime cash flow back then. This was a business that had a 100% profit margin. Here's a tip for $5.55 for a fine write.
unKnownVotress - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, you are indeed a ~ Great Lakes Boy ~ ! Sound just like ~ J-One ~ and ~ JJ ~ !
Guy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes M'Lady I do know that thou hast mentiooned that the lakes of great water was your home once. I have been on and in Lake Erie years back in Erie, Pa. Not to mention the wee lakes of the pasture pool variety.

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