Song Parodies -> Five To Nine
| Original Song Title: | "Nine To Five" |
| Original Performer: | Dolly Parton |
| Parody Song Title: | "Five To Nine" |
| Parody Written by: | Airfarcewon |
Cleanin' up the grill, they call this place a kitchen
Other jerks..are moanin' and bitchin'
Everyone moves like buzzin' bees in line..
It's dinner hour and the coffee's pumpin'
Thru the drive-thru..long lines of cars comin'
Hate what I do, on the job from five to nine..
Five To Nine..hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Got to work that line,,couple hours after school's out..
Headin' home by nine, then is when they let us fools out
My lame big dream, just a burger on the platter
Your order's up, work and cut the chatter
Makin' cash and savin' for a college fund..
Sometimes it clicks..but generally sucks
Takin' too much crap for minimum bucks
But I'm doin' a job every day, that's gotta' be done
Five To Nine..wash up with the lotion
No chance for advance..or such thing as a promotion
Workin' hands, not head..be on time and do the duty
Bite tongue, get red...when the boss pinches booty
Five To Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after school's out
Headed home by nine..that is when they let us fools out
Five To Nine, keep smilin' at the people
Even tho' you know, get off on it, that old creep'll
It's a poor girl's life, just no way to rise above it
But one of these days, gonna' tell the boss to shove it..
Five to Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive...gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after schools out
Headed home by nine..then is when they let us fools out..
(Oooohhhhhhhh...Whyyy Meeeee?)
Other jerks..are moanin' and bitchin'
Everyone moves like buzzin' bees in line..
It's dinner hour and the coffee's pumpin'
Thru the drive-thru..long lines of cars comin'
Hate what I do, on the job from five to nine..
Five To Nine..hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Got to work that line,,couple hours after school's out..
Headin' home by nine, then is when they let us fools out
My lame big dream, just a burger on the platter
Your order's up, work and cut the chatter
Makin' cash and savin' for a college fund..
Sometimes it clicks..but generally sucks
Takin' too much crap for minimum bucks
But I'm doin' a job every day, that's gotta' be done
Five To Nine..wash up with the lotion
No chance for advance..or such thing as a promotion
Workin' hands, not head..be on time and do the duty
Bite tongue, get red...when the boss pinches booty
Five To Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive..gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after school's out
Headed home by nine..that is when they let us fools out
Five To Nine, keep smilin' at the people
Even tho' you know, get off on it, that old creep'll
It's a poor girl's life, just no way to rise above it
But one of these days, gonna' tell the boss to shove it..
Five to Nine, hop and hustle at McDonald's
Puttin' up with jive...gettin' hit on by old Ronald
Gotta' work that line..couple hours after schools out
Headed home by nine..then is when they let us fools out..
(Oooohhhhhhhh...Whyyy Meeeee?)
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User Comments Follow...
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Thing is, these lyrics are more than credible for a "real" C&W song. 555 :-)
I thought this parody WAS a "real" C&W song!! ;-)
Yep, that was me 22 years ago. I actually liked working there, but the pay sucked. Back then, I was making $3.35/hr, a whopping $0.10 over minimum wage. Now I'm up to $5.55/hr.
this was great.....i can SO relate to this....i worked there 36 years ago....yipes.....i was 3...heh heh heh....1.65 an hour and no free food
Ha ha ha! Good stuff AFW! yup I worked in a "grease pit" 21 years ago. The Burger Thing. or Booger King or Stripper King--yup, can't beat those 3.35/hour gigs, slipping in dripping fry grease and cracking your skull.
Thanks, Stan, Johnny D, McKludge, alvin, and Harry....never realized so many parodists here, would be Mickey D alumni...Never worked there myself, but family members have..and wrote it only, from the perspective of an occasional drive thru customer, and of what I imagine working there might be like
Must be similar to working with Larry Craig... 5-5-5
555 for this MacTale.
Excellent AFW :) Gave me a good laugh, esp that naughty ol' Ronald!
Thanks, MrMac..good LC line..and thanks LCC..and Peregrin
Workin' five to nine at Mickey D's beats doin' five to nine as a guest of the state. I never worked at a fast food place either in my youth. I did work as a busboy for a time at a regular sit down restaurant. I lived very close to a public golf course and during the summers I'd go to the course on Sunday nights and would go into the four water dams they had on the course and fish out around 500 hundred golf balls. I knew the guy who watered the fairways at night and he would look the other way for one dozen of mint condition Titleist or Top Flight brand golf balls. I'd then sell the rest of the balls on a tee that was out of view of the club house on the following Sunday morning, usually making around $200.00 selling the same balls back to the same guys who lost them to begin with. The owner of the course did not like me selling golf balls on his course because I was costing him business selling the same balls for $1.25 that I'd let go for around 50 - 75 cents. Of course my father was an avid golfer and I had to give him his tribute as well. $200.00 for a five to nine shift in the late 60s was prime cash flow back then. This was a business that had a 100% profit margin. Here's a tip for $5.55 for a fine write.
Sir Guy, you are indeed a ~ Great Lakes Boy ~ ! Sound just like ~ J-One ~ and ~ JJ ~ !
Yes M'Lady I do know that thou hast mentiooned that the lakes of great water was your home once. I have been on and in Lake Erie years back in Erie, Pa. Not to mention the wee lakes of the pasture pool variety.
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This is view # 167
Those Were the Days album at Amazon.com
Ultimate Dolly Parton album at Amazon.com
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