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Song Parodies -> "Precious Things; Golden Years"

Original Song Title:

"Golden Years"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Precious Things; Golden Years"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Here's a "two-for-one hybrid parody" (or whatever you wish to call them) and I liked this idea because the two storylines connect so well: Tori Amos' "Precious Things" is a cathartic song about opening up past hurts and letting them "bleed" and then "wash away". Bowie's "Golden Years" is about picking yourself up and looking forward to the future with a positive outlook, so it really picks up right where "Things" leaves off: Open up and wash that pain and hurt away, pick yourself up, stop looking back, carry yourself with dignity("walk tall, act fine") and eagerly look forward to those "Golden Years". Outside of liking that storyline, this piece is also sort of a "Birthday Card"and tribute for Tori Amos, who turned 41 this past Sunday (August 22nd), seems happy now in her current marriage and was finally able to have a healthy child (3 or 4 years old now) after a number of earlier bad marriages & miscarriages. I really like her music and respect her as an artist and I wish her continued success and happiness.
Precious Things; bleed, wash, wash, wash
Precious Things; bleed, wash, wash, wash
Precious Things; bleed, wash, wash, wash
Lose all your precious pain, it's taking you nowhere
Wash them away, baby
Christian guys who made you c*m
Now they're gone but life goes on
Wash them away, baby

Once were dissed about your looks
Forget that boy, you now know who you are
Precious things, bleed, wash, wash, wash
Wash them away, baby
That night girls made fun
Peach party dress; no NINE-INCH nails, Amos
Wash them away, baby
That hurt's gone; it don't matter now
Now you look back: they're small; you're fine
Washed them away, Tori

Oh, put that past behind you and then lose those fears
Nothing's going to stop you; precious golden years
Precious Things, bleed, wash, wash, wash
Washed them away, Tori
Now you're OK and you're writing songs
Life is just fine; you're where you belong
with your husband and daughter; you're forty-one
Life has turned sweet; You've healed your heart
Seems you were right; turned out you were smart
Stood your ground, held it down, day upon day, you believed, oh yeah
did your art your way
Pain's washed away, lady

Now you write just what you want
Record execs; ignore those dumb *ssholes
Precious things; gone, washed, washed, washed
Washed them away, baby
Remember when they told you, "Ditch those pianos"
Showed them up fine, lady
Gone are the shadows, gone are the shadows
See no more shadows, found your golden years

You finally had your baby after all those years
Good things happened to you when you washed those fears, gold
Gone those fears, gone, washed, washed, washed
(Repeat out to end)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Ashkicksass - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, this is fabulous. I too, am a huge fan of Tori Amos. She's one of the best live performers I've ever seen. What a wonderful tribute!
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Ashkickass - didn't know there were any other Tori Amos fans on board here. I caught one of her songs on late night Cable videos back in Nov. 2002 and got interested and next thing I was hooked. And yes, an incredible live performer. Saw her live at the Greek Theatre here in L.A. last August 1st. She REALLY KICKS ASS on stage. Also, if you haven't picked it up, I strongly recommend the DVD from her last concert performance of that last tour ("Welcome To Sunny Florida). 18 songs plus 2 cool improv numbers - About 2 1/4 hours of music. There's also some interesting backstage and interview stuff so it runs about 3 hours total. I got it for under $15 a while back.
Ashkicksass - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah! One of my girlfriends was telling me about that. She said it was awesome. I will definitely add it to my collection!
Adagio - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Beautiful, echoes a lot of what I write about.
Paul Robinson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio, Thank you, glad it made a connection.
Johnny D - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
5-5-5 for this great parody, and I must admit that I like Torrid Anus, too.
Paul Robinson - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - Ahh! deeply hidden secrets come out. Thanks, I almost made it "Dumbo Ears" because I read an interview once where she made mention and light of having very large "Dumbo" ears, and after she mentioned it I noticed when I watched that DVD concert that they ARE big (maybe part Ferengi??). But maybe that has something to do with her musical genius, she was playing piano at 2 1/2 and accepted to the Peabody Institute at 5, without knowing how to read music. She's gotta hear stuff that most folks don't. Anyway, glad I didn't use that.

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