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Song Parodies -> "Gross Space Odor, Jeez!"

Original Song Title:

"A Space Oddity/Major Tom"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Gross Space Odor, Jeez!"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Well, thought it was time to get my mind out of the gutter and come back over here with some parodies of the non-obscene variety. A little Star Trek number here, with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock in the Shuttle on a 'routine' Away mission, with conundrums to solve; worlds to save; prime directives to circumvent, ignore or at least maybe "misconstrue"; and, of course, bare-midriffed space babes to 'woo'...and leave. OK, that's all well and good, but did you ever consider what it might be like when folks in the "Away" party have to use that tiny Shuttle's bathroom facilities? Couldn't be very pleasant for the others on board...
Enterprise to Mister Spock
Enterprise to Mister Spock
Will you please respond? We'd really like to talk
Enterprise to Mister Spock
Please respond now and take stock
We're impatient, can we please converse with you?

(Spoken aside, slightly above a whisper and in 'Countdown' type cadence by Mr. Sulu at the Enterprise "Comm" Station)

[ I'm... pissed-off]

This is Enterprise to Mister Spock
Pick up and fill us in
Please respond to me before I start to swear
Getting tired of just listening to 'dead air'

"This is Mister Spock to Enterprise
I wish you would please chill
'Cause there really isn't too much happening here
If I drank I would kick back and 'quaff' a beer

But here
I am sitting on the can
trying to take a turd
Captain Kirk is through
boy, it stinks in here, P.U.

Whoa, the stench in here is very vile
I'm trying not to puke
But my 'gag' reflex may soon force me to blow
'Cause I feel the nausea in my stomach grow"

Enterprise to Mister Spock
if you must puke stay near the throne
Try to hold it, Mister Spock
Please don't blow it, Mister Spock
Please don't throw up, Mister Spock
Please don't...

"Here I am puking all my guts out
all over the room
My whole lunch; I blew
There was not much I could do"

(Instrumentals to end)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

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Guy - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Q. What did Spock see when he looked in the toilet?
A. What else, the Captain's log.

Actually Paul, wouldn't it make sense to beem the matter out of the body and into deep space? I think that's why we never see any toilets on Star Trek. I like Trek parody and I like giving you 5s for this one.
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, maybe so. You see, that's one reason why I'm a writer rather than a Rocket Scientist. BUT, it's also possible that one of those lesser known 'Prime Directives' might be about not leaving your poop floating around in 'Deep Space'. What if all the "Space Poop" somehow massed together and formed a dense object that "reeked" havoc throughout the Quadrant, bashing into space vessels and maybe even gaining enough mass to cause serious harm to planetary rotations and gravity? Hmmm...might that be called an "Ass-turd-roid"?? "Captain, there's a gigantic Space Turd hurtling towards us on the Starboard side". "Sh*t shields up, Scotty, and divert all remaining power to the "Glade" scented torpedoes. Spock, form an "Away" team to clean up the outer hull after the mass has been neutralized."
Johnny D - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
The Q Continuum versus The Poo Continuum ... who would win? Only The Squire Of Grossout knows for sure. Warp 5, Mr. Sooloo.
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - "The Poo Continuum" - I like it....Thanks!!
Spock - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Though I've been quite irregular lately this parody is somewhat logical.
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Q: Wouldn't it make sense to beem the matter out of the body and into deep space?
A: Naah, itīs recycled, they use it to construct those charachter building episodes, thatīs why most of them stink.
Agrimorfee - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the oddest thing I ever read from you, Paul--I love it. Are you sure you are "Paul Robinson", this doesn't seem like "you " wrote this! (LOL)555
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee - I swear, it's 100% me, just a random idea that came to me after someone else's parody reminded me about David Bowie (hmmm...wondering now, was it YOU by any chance? I remember I made a comment using a pun on the lyrics from "Changes"?) Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 - did they have any character building themes in the original Star Trek? I thought it was just Kirk roaming around the Galaxy eye-ing space-babes (think "The Wanderer", by Dion & The Belmonts, only in space costumes, etc) and trampling on the "Prime Directive" while Spock figured out rational sounding BS to cover up for him.
alvin rhodes - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
ahhh...the dangers of space travel....why is the USS enterprise like toilet paper ?....they both search uranus for klingons.........5s
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin!
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 - Thanks again...your comment triggered the inspiration for another "space-oriented" parody. Submitted this afternoon, ought to be up tomorrow. "Captain Kirk , The Space Wanderer" to Dion & The Belmonts oldies tune "The Wanderer".
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul: Glad to hear I could inspire, I hope it wonīt stink!
Maybe youīll find more inspiration in my brand new Star Trek and Star Wars "Love and Profits" trilogy to the tune of "Love and Marriage".
Paul Robinson - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Know 1 - I'll have to take a look. For some reason I've always had a bit of an aversion to the song "Love & Marriage", but I'll check it out a bit later today. Gotta get a move on now, supposed to be somewhere else about 30 minutes from now...that's not gonna happen within that time frame, but maybe I can come within and hour or two of the appointed time...
anonymous - April 30, 2005 - Report this comment

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