It's a god awful small affair,
For a doc in his trainee year,
When the patients are yelling "No!"
And your trainer needs videos.
So I've set up the JVC,
Gave the camera lens a clean,
Set the seats for the clearest view,
And now we're set for the TV screen.
But the surgery's a saddening bore,
Lots of Pill checks and nothing more.
And the time starts to really drag,
As I ask you to focus on

Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.

Now we're reviewing the tape I've done
Using rules set by Pendleton.
So the good bits come first of course,
But then it all goes from bad to worse.
"Well, the strengths as it seems to me,
Were lots of nodding and empathy.
I listened well and picked up the cues,
Was sensitive with bad news".
But the bad points are there, oh my,
Well I made all the patients cry.
So it's got to be done again,
And I ask you to focus on

Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.