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Song Parodies -> "Crusade"

Original Song Title:

"Convoy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

C.W. McCall

Parody Song Title:

"Crusade"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Well, it was ten-ninetysix and a rag-a-tag mix
of peasants and mercs and knights
thought "We're gonna roam to Holy Land
and make some noise and fights"
Those Saracen buggers have gone too far
when they conquered Jerusalem
We'll gather Christians from near and far
and take that town from them"

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a little Crusade
Riding through Europe, right -
Yeah, we got a little Crusade,
Ain't she a dreadful sight?
Come on and join our Crusade
we're gonna take a stand
We gonna ride this holy Crusade
into the Holy Land -
Crusade!

By the time we got into Frankfurt Town,
We had eighty-five knights in all.
But there were Jews and heretics all inside,
So we put them against the wall.
Yeah, those peasants joined in thick like rats in a sewer;
There were peasants far as eye could see
I heard, "Callin' all knights, this here's Geoffroy".
"We about to go hunt Saracen."

'Cause we got a mighty Crusade
Riding through Europe, right -
Yeah, we got a mighty Crusade,
Ain't she a dreadful sight?
Come on and join our Crusade
we're gonna take a stand
We gonna ride this holy Crusade
into the Holy Land -
Crusade!

Well, we rode through Balkans to Constantinople
Like a storm of iron and steel.
we were hundred thousand men of peasant and noble
and a force to be reckoned for real
By the time we hit that golden town,
Them Saracens were a-gettin' smart:
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From the Kerbogha's Mosul Guard.

They had spears and bows and cavalry
And elephants of mighty size.
Yeah, they had light horse, they had cataphracts
And their arrows filled the skies.
Well, we shot the line and we called for charge
With a thousand screamin' knights
An' thousands of long-haired Friends of Jesus
with pitchforks and scythes to fight.

Well, we laid a siege for Jerusalem
And prepared to cross the walls
I could see the towers lined with Saracens
But we yelled the "Deus vult" call.
We had ladders and towers and battering rams
they shot us and scorched with oil
So we crashed the gate with a slaughter great
I says "Let them Saracens boil - Deus vult!"

'Cause we had a mighty Crusade
Riding through Europe, right -
Yeah, we had a mighty Crusade,
Ain't she a dreadful sight?
Come on and join our Crusade
we're gonna take a stand
We gonna ride this holy Crusade
into the Holy Land -
Crusade!

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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CML - May 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Well that's a new one! I wouldn't have matched The Crusades with "Convoy" in two eternities ..... Mostly because I had succeeded in purging that lyrical and melodic atrocity of a song from my memory 40 years ago. Thank you, Susan, for bringing it back
Callmelennie - May 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Seriously, Suzanne, one of the worst songs to disgrace the decade of the Seventies, a decade which didn't need any help in disgracing itself to begin with. As the old joke goes, that song wasn't released, it escaped
Susanna Viljanen - May 16, 2017 - Report this comment
I only heard this atrocity of a song for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and I thought "this really needs some re-work". As I absolutely love mangling history and historical topics, I thought "Crusade" would be a fitting spoof.

"Geoffroy" refers to Geoffroy de Bouillon, the overall leader of the 1st Crusade. Kerbogha was the Bey of Mosul, Iraq, who was one of the main opponents of the Crusaders on their way to Jerusalem.
Watch this - May 16, 2017 - Report this comment
https://youtu.be/krhDzGyDzo0

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