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Song Parodies -> "David Crosby Cannot Cook"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody I Love You"

Original Performer:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Parody Song Title:

"David Crosby Cannot Cook"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

After their contentious Group meeting ("Group Spat") Stills, Nash & Young summarize their point of view on the Food situation...
(Instrumental intro - On Lead Guitar notes - "No, no, no" gets sung in background)

Crosby cannot roast
Crosby cannot fry
Stills and I are certain now
Yes, and even Neil has realized
Dave can't cook
Taste it; YUUK!
And you'll surely say
"You expect for me to eat this
but it should be thrown away"
(Replace "La-la-la's" with "Bleah, bleah, bleah's")

(Instrumental break - On Lead Guitar notes - "No, no, no" in background again)

David Crosby cannot cook (No, he can't cook)
He cannot make good food (Oh, no)
He just ruined a casserole (Yes, he did)
Each meal he makes tastes like "poo' (Oh, Yeah, it really do now)

All of Dave's meals are awful (they're so awful)
They all taste just like gruel (Oh, yes, they do)
David Crosby cannot cook
Just take our word this is true
(Oh, yeah, it's really true now)

Tomorrow: The Big Finale - a "Bonus Track"...stay tuned...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
dave may have his problems but you've cooked up some fine stuff...5s
Larry Hensley - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Another funny one
Johnny D - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
All I can say is ... 555 ... and ... "Carry On" !!!
Paul Robinson - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin & Larry H...tomorrow...the "Bonus Track" finale...what OS song will be used & from what Album? After the final track posting tomorrow there will still be a bit more to come...stay tuned...
Paul Robinson - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD...yes, still a bit more...
Adagio - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one,'s about your sound effects? lol 5's
Paul Robinson - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Pat...that's the fun of making (and listening to) the audio versions ~ ~ ~
carol - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL LOL good one! esp. liked the line Replace "La-la-la's" with "Bleah, bleah, bleah's")
Paul Robinson - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, carol ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul, I gotta ask (mainly because Google has been no help): Is Crosby's cooking really bad enough for you to write a dozen parodies about it, or are you just doing a running gag? I'm not questioning the quality of the parodies, just wondering about the veracity. I mean, we make enough jokes about Crosby, from his walrus-like appearance to his abuses of various ingested chemicals to his weird relationship with Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher. Does he really need one more thing we can joke about?
Paul Robinson - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Michael, I have no actual knowledge about David Crosby's cooking...the whole concept was an imagined scenario..."What if David Crosby cooked for the group?" Now, realistically speaking, I would say there was (and is) very little chance that this actually occurred...So the answer is, yes, this is a running gag I created..BUT...Michael, do you really think we make ENOUGH jokes about David Crosby...and I must admit in all truth I love the group, I love almost all of their music, particularly from their first few Studio Albums, I know most of those songs by memory, including how the instrumentals parts sound, etc. And I should also point out this is based on overblown and exaggerated caricature perceptions of how the group WAS around the early-to-mid- 1970's...they have all changed quite a bit since then...

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