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Song Parodies -> "Crosby Cooks: Group Spat"

Original Song Title:

"Woodstock"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Parody Song Title:

"Crosby Cooks: Group Spat"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

The "Crosby Cooks" Parody Project now reaches a crucial stage. Relations are strained and things are coming to a head for the group. Band members Stills, Nash & Young have called a group meeting to discuss the food situation. They are all sitting impatiently on one side of the room, waiting for Crosby to show up...he's late...but finally strolls in rather casually and sits down across from them. The "non-voting" band members, drummer Dallas Taylor and bass player Greg Reeves are also in attendance, but sit in the back of the room. Reeves fidgets nervously as his gig now hangs in the balance. Taylor sits in the stuporous oblivion of *"Rock Band Drummer World", smiling numbly.
~ ~ {Instrumental intro - the intense opening guitar solo mirrors the level of elevated tension in the room} ~ ~

Well, we had a meeting of the guys
to complain about David's food
Everybody there was in a tense mood
except for David

Stills said, "Hey, Dave, what's wrong in your head?
you put live birds into a pie
some damn bird then bit me, guy
now my right thumb hurts"

Nash and Young were
in hysterics
Steve glared over and started swearing
Then said, "Please control yourselves
this isn't fun-uu-uu-uunnn-ny"

Graham said, "Stephen, we are sorry
but it just could not be helped
We remember when you yelped
When that bird bit you

While it's sad that David is so dumb
and we're sorry that bird bit your thumb
If you think about it, man
it's really amusing"

Steve was angry
He was livid
then his face turned red; quite vivid
He said, "Graham, go straight to Hell
and take Neil wi-ii-iit-iittth you"


~ ~ {During this Instrumental Break we see heat fumes rising out of Steve Stills' ears as his anger builds exponentially. Meanwhile, Crosby sits quietly, hands folded in front of him resting on his crossed knees. He is smiling like a Cheshire cat. Nash is wide-eyed, he senses big trouble...Young is doing the furious guitar solo part, so he notices nothing...Reeves fidgets and squirms, Taylor is still in *"RBDW'.} ~ ~


We were startled
by Steve's anger
Sad our meeting had turned to rancor
So Graham turned to Steve and said
"We beg your par-ar-aarr-aarrr-don"

We had still not heard from David
Just how would our friend explain?
Did he regret Stephen's pain
that his "Live Bird' pie caused?

Well, he said, "Hey, Steve, it's really too bad
that your poor right thumb got bit
but you really must admit
it got some guff-aws"

Steve was angry
out of control
He put Crosby into a choke-hold
If he kills Dave will Arn-old
give him a par-ar-ar-aarr-aaarrr-aaarrrr-don?

~ ~ {During the final & furious Instrumental Jam a struggle has broken out. Things are being tossed, thrown and broken, and there is much shouting, yelling, and yelping from the various band members as Stills tries to strangle Crosby and Nash tries feebly to break it up. Young is off to the side jamming on lead guitar, grooving on the far-out shapes that undulate wildly in a strange, ritual-like dance and make loud & dissonant sounds. He's playing to those sounds now. Bass player Reeves fingers his part on "auto-pilot' while he stares on in disbelief and Drummer Taylor remains oblivious, happily hammering away in the back, wearing his stuporous smile and headphones...as the instrumentals move forward towards the fade Nash blurts out a reminder that the group has a paying gig later on that evening and the scuffling comes to an abrupt halt and the fighting and squabbling sounds recede as the music moves towards the fade....you hear clothes being straightened and Stills says, "Hey, no problem, man, we're together...you all right, bro?" to Crosby...Crosby: "Yeah, man, I'm cool...we're together, Graham, we're cool...". Our drama is nearing it's end...what will it be?} ~ ~
Tune in Monday for the next episode of the "Crosby Cooks" Parody Project.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Adagio - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Tension in small doses? How long are you going to draw the mystery out? lol
Johnny D - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmm...does it all have something to do with Little Jack Horner? 555
Rick C - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Uproarious! 555
alvin rhodes - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
i'd say, they've got to get themselves back to the olive garden...5s
Paul Robinson - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Still a bit more to come in the near future...look for the final OS piece to be covered on Monday...then...does the term "Bonus Track" mean anything to you? Thanks, all ~ ~ ~
Larry Hensley - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll just get a pizza. 5s
Paul Robinson - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Larry, I recommend you skip the Anchovies and Pineapple this time...Thanks!

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